


i got these beliefs that i think you wanna break

by bapaldeul



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Enemies to Lovers, Homophobia, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Religious Imagery & Symbolism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2018-10-26
Packaged: 2019-08-07 21:18:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 30,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16416134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bapaldeul/pseuds/bapaldeul
Summary: minhyun shows seongwoo that he can go to heaven; even if he sins.





	1. PART ONE

**Author's Note:**

> it's finally here and done.
> 
> this has been a 2-3 months work in progress and i'm so happy i finally get to show it off!!
> 
> i know the word count is intimidating so i divided it into six chapters for easy reading.
> 
> warnings & possible triggers:  
> \- lots of references to churches and religious beliefs (both dialogue and imagery)  
> \- implied first times (but nothing explicit)
> 
> please let me know if there are any other important triggers that i might have missed out!
> 
>  
> 
> otherwise, please enjoy reading and leave comments wherever you feel like it <3

_ ♫  Never Not - Lauv  ♫ _

__

_ We were so beautiful _

_ We were so tragic _

_ No other magic _

_ Could ever compare _

 

 

 

 

 

 

Grey.

 

The colour of the sky when Seongwoo first saw Hwang Minhyun. The colour of the smoke emitting from his lighted cigarette when the boy had stride past where Seongwoo was sitting at the back of the school, hidden from the public eye.

 

He didn’t even spare Seongwoo a glance, yet it already felt like he had occupied a large part of Seongwoo’s dull day. His uniform was neatly ironed, a stark contrast to Seongwoo’s crumpled and dirty one which he was sure he would get scolded for again later by his mother.

 

Lightly tapping on his friend’s shoulder, he cocks his head toward the fresh face exchanging a friendly handshake with Kang Dongho a few metres away.

 

“Who is that?”

 

Sungwoon just shrugs, extinguishing his cigarette behind his back as soon as a teacher walks into sight. Seongwoo follows suit skilfully, and although the teacher shoots them a suspicious glare, he cannot say anything without evidence.

 

“One of Kang Dongho’s,” Sungwoon replies, observing the exchange. “He looks new.”

 

“ _ Shame _ ,” a friendly voice chimes in from the back. Seongwoo smiles, welcoming his friend to sit with them. Kang Daniel; his trusty right-hand man in helping Seongwoo find the right people to get his homework done for him. Albeit a little too over excited at the wrong times, Daniel has proven himself worthy to be included in this small circle of misfits.

 

“We should have gotten to him faster,” Daniel puts on his fake puppy eyes again. The one he uses to lure people in before breaking their hearts. “He is so handsome. Do you want me to go and butter him up so he will join us instead?”

 

Seongwoo just rolls his eyes. The offer is tempting, especially when he thinks about the million and one ways he could toy with this new fox-like boy  _ just because _ .

 

“No need,” Seongwoo rejects Daniel’s offer anyway. “We made a promise to Kang Dongho remember? – Not to get in his way for at least two weeks. Besides, I thought you were too busy for us now because you are trying to court that cute freshman?”

 

“Not true,” Daniel protests, although his tone says otherwise. Seongwoo has known Daniel long enough to sense the slight annoyance in his voice when asked about this particular topic.

 

It turns out that the freshman Daniel has eyes on is not as easy as Daniel had made him out to be a few weeks prior to courtship. Seongwoo has seen him once, maybe twice. A small and cute doe-eyed boy, maybe a head shorter than Daniel himself.  _ Feisty too _ , when Daniel had tried to ask him out in front of the entire school. Wacked Daniel on the head with his textbooks and told him to stop following him around or he would call the cops.

 

Seongwoo does not understand why Daniel still continues to chase after that boy like a dog without an owner.

 

But he is not one to judge his friend’s questionable actions when he makes many of his own, anyway.

 

“Hey, pretty.”

 

Seongwoo lets the words slip before he can consider the consequences they bring.

 

Kang Dongho’s friend circle stops in their footsteps, including the new face. They all turn to face Seongwoo. Daniel stands up immediately, sensing danger. Seongwoo knows they will not try anything in school compounds but the way Kang Dongho stares at him is enough for him to interpret that he will pay for this later.

 

“Ong Seongwoo-“ Kang Dongho growls, until he is stopped.

 

“You’re talking to me?”

 

_ Ah _ . There it is. The voice of an angel, yet his words are not kind and he does not look happy staring down at Seongwoo one bit.

 

“So what if I am?” Seongwoo probes, challenging him. “Take a compliment.”

 

The boy scans him from head to toe and pushes Daniel aside to reach Seongwoo. Now that they are standing across from each other with less than fifteen centimetres in between them, Seongwoo can finally see his features up close.

 

_ Pretty _ , Seongwoo thinks this time. 

 

“Don’t talk to me, much less  _ look _ at me,” the boy hisses. “Or I can’t guarantee what will happen next.”

 

Sungwoon and Daniel are still holding their breaths and taking no initiative to step in, so Seongwoo knows he isn’t crossing the line  _ yet _ . He knows that although he hates Kang Dongho to the core and that the feelings are mutual, he has a certain respect for the other, so he does not want to break his promise to not mess around with their group during this week.

 

But he still wants to put fox boy in his place.

 

“Don’t tell me what to do, hm?” Seongwoo chuckles. He looks back at his friends, “Let’s go.”

 

Fox boy opens his mouth to probably say something back, but the school bell sounds and soon enough the discipline master appears out of thin air to break up what he says is “an illegal gathering” and tells them to go back to class before they all get detention.

 

Seongwoo smiles as he watches Kang Dongho pull fox boy away, who looks like he still has a lot of things he wants to say to Seongwoo.

 

Maybe it would be fun to mess around with him a while longer – or maybe find out  _ what happens next  _ in pretty boy’s own words.

  
  
  
  
  


“It’s like those stupid love songs on the radio fucking make sense!” Daniel hollers excitedly much to the delight of their friend group. Beside him, Sungwoon is still clutching his stomach in laughter at Daniel’s boisterous behaviour.

 

“You’re stupid,” Jaehwan snaps, throwing a piece of popcorn at Daniel, who dodges it immediately.

 

“What Jaehwan said,” Sungwoon nods his head, agreeing. “You’re a dumbass if you think that you’re in love with that boy after he’d physically put you in a headlock after you confessed your love for the third time.”

 

They’re all crammed in a small booth in their usual corner of their favourite eatery; where the owner knows them well enough to give them a little more noodles than usual and allows them to drink responsibly and smoke if they want to.

 

“I want to write love poems about him,” Daniel sighs dreamily, cupping his face with his hands. “About his pretty eyes and his lips.”

 

“Pervert,” Jaehwan shrieks with laughter, and Sungwoon joins in, earning them dirty looks from the other patrons.

 

They lift their drinks up again and cheers to Daniel’s stupid and non-existent love life.

  
  
  


They’re into their third round of some card game Jaehwan had suggested when Sungwoon nudges Seongwoo.

 

“Look who’s here,” he whispers, directing Seongwoo’s attention to the front door, where five students from their school have just sauntered in and gotten a table near the entrance.

 

Seongwoo would recognise that tall and slim figure anywhere.

 

“Ooh,” Daniel laughs gleefully. “It’s Hwang Minhyun! God, the school is crazy about him these days. Girls can’t stop talking about him like he’s Jesus or something, and boys can’t help but  _ want _ to be him. What a pity he’s already been snatched away by their gang. We could use some help in the visual factor.”

 

Jaehwan scrambles to take a look, eliciting shouts of pain from all of them as he tries to be discreet.

 

“Wah,” Jaehwan marvels. “He is really handsome.”

 

“Please, not as handsome as I am,” Seongwoo rolls his eyes.  “Ahjumma, can we have another plate of tangsuyuk here?”

 

His voice attracts the attention of their new obsession.

 

Hwang Minhyun turns his head to the direction of Seongwoo’s voice, narrowing his eyes when they make eye contact, like it displeases him to see Seongwoo anywhere. Seongwoo just waves at him, friendly and pleasant like he wants to appear to everyone.

 

“He hates you already,” Daniel groans. “Our chances with him are  _ ruined _ .”

 

“Shut up,” Seongwoo growls, turning back to the table. “Let’s continue. It’s Jaehwan’s turn.”

 

Their tangsuyuk arrives quickly and Jaehwan treats them to another round of drinks because he’s rich and they’re his only friends. Hwang Minhyun, much to Seongwoo’s disappointment, leaves the eatery as soon as his friend group finishes their food.

 

Seongwoo downs the rest of his drink quickly, enjoying the light burn in his throat.

 

He closes his eyes and wonders why he cannot erase a particular face from his memory.

  
  
  
  
  


The next time Seongwoo sees Hwang Minhyun is on Friday, two days after their encounter at the eatery. Although they are in the same grade, Seongwoo rarely sees the other boy around in school.

 

(He’s  _ definitely not _ trying to look out for Minhyun in school, but it’s just strange that he hasn’t seen Minhyun hanging around Kang Dongho for two days now.)

 

Sungwoon and Jaehwan have some sort of after school activity to attend and Daniel is busy with god-knows-what so Seongwoo makes the decision to go home right after school and take a nap. Waste his life away and all that. 

 

Seongwoo stops cold in his tracks when he sees a familiar figure kneeling by a brick wall in the alley he takes as a shortcut home.

 

Hwang Minhyun meets Seongwoo halfway.

 

“You’re bleeding,” Seongwoo makes an observation.

 

Minhyun is not wearing his uniform.

 

“And  _ you’re  _ fucking annoying. Anything else, Captain Obvious?” Minhyun hisses, trying to push past Seongwoo.

 

“You haven’t been to school in two days,” Seongwoo says again. It makes sense, he didn’t see Minhyun in school because he wasn’t even in school in the first place.

 

Minhyun lets out an exasperated chuckle. A cold one.

 

“Ong Seongwoo,” he shakes his head, gripping onto the wall for some support. “You pretend to be _ all that. _ You’re nothing, you know?”

 

Seongwoo ignores him. Minhyun is still bleeding from his head and he has an ugly cut right down his left cheek. His face is pale and although it is not like Seongwoo to meddle in other people’s business, he reaches for the plasters he keeps with him in his wallet.

 

“Stop moving,” Seongwoo grunts, holding Minhyun’s arm so he can’t run away. “You can’t walk out like that. You’ll give the old people a heart attack with all this blood. At least clean yourself up.”

 

Minhyun purses his lips together and finally gives in to Seongwoo’s request.

 

“You should come to my house,” Seongwoo says after putting a cute Pororo plaster on Minhyun’s cheek. It is cute, it makes Seongwoo smile. “I have medication and bandages.”

 

Minhyun’s eyes flash with distrust.

 

“No one is home. I won’t tell anyone about this, if that’s what you’re afraid about.”

 

Seongwoo doesn’t know why he’s being so helpful to someone he barely knows.

 

“Fine. Lead the way.”

  
  
  
  
  


Surprisingly, Minhyun follows him home without much protest. They don’t talk the entire way; because there is nothing much to be said anyway. Seongwoo holds his breath as Minhyun enters his house, the confident demeanour from before now becomes something between scared and uncomfortable.

 

“Sit,” Seongwoo commands. Minhyun takes a seat on the sofa.

 

Wetting a towel, Seongwoo grabs a pack of ice from the fridge and some bandages from the kitchen drawer. It’s sad to say that he is more than accustomed to this practice of cleaning up blood and injuries. But that is a story for another day.

 

By now, the blood has already dried.

 

Seongwoo grimaces at the cuts on Minhyun’s lip and the bruise forming on his collarbone.

 

“I can clean up after myself,” Minhyun snaps, snatching the wet towel from Seongwoo’s hands to dab on his face. 

 

_ It must hurt _ , Seongwoo thinks whenever Minhyun brushes over his own cuts.

 

Seongwoo knows this, because well, he’s kind of gotten accustomed to getting hurt.

 

“Here, ice for your head,” Seongwoo hands it over to Minhyun.

 

“I’ll bandage your arm,” Seongwoo says, eyeing the deep gash right below Minhyun’s elbow.

 

He’s no doctor and neither does he knows the right way to do this but Seongwoo thinks that Minhyun would rather  _ him _ than the hospital, so he just wordlessly applies the medicine to Minhyun’s wounds and bandages it the best he can to prevent any infections.

 

The boy in front of him looks like a mess, Seongwoo realises when he is done.

 

“Got into a fight?” Seongwoo tests the waters.

 

Minhyun’s eyes flash with hurt.

 

“Something like that,” he mumbles as a response.

 

“Been there, done that,” Seongwoo tries to lighten the mood. “Did you make sure to teach them a lesson? Made sure they wouldn’t come after you again?”

 

Minhyun does not look too happy with Seongwoo’s incessant questioning.

 

“I’ve overstayed,” Minhyun decides. “Thank you for the ice, but I should get going now. We shouldn’t even be talking.”

 

Seongwoo watches, unfazed as Minhyun dusts himself off the cushion and places the ice pack gently back onto the table. He should be frustrated at someone who refuses to give him an ounce of respect even after nursing their wounds. But Seongwoo thinks he understands that Minhyun is annoyed, maybe even angry with himself now.

 

“It’ll be nice if you’ll be healed the next time we meet,” Seongwoo says as Minhyun picks up his shoes from the doorstep.

 

Minhyun doesn’t even look back when he says, “It’ll be nice if we don’t have to meet again.”

 

_ Huh _ , Seongwoo doubts that. But he just watches in silence as Minhyun takes his leave and watches until he cannot see the boy in the bloodied shirt anymore. Then he decides to clean up the towel left behind on the cushion before his parents get home for the night.

  
  
  
  
  


“Hyun ah.”

 

By the look on his mother’s face, he knows it must be bad. Minhyun hasn’t looked into a single mirror ever since he got… well-  _ beat up good _ ; he’s too afraid that he might faint if he had to look at his own wounds. Just a glimpse of the bruise on his collarbone earlier made him feel dizzy.

 

“I’m okay,” he manages a small smile. “My friend helped me put medication. It’s nothing to worry about, I was just being clumsy and fell.”

 

He’s just saying whatever he can to pacify his worrisome mother, who looks like she might be the one to faint right now. Minhyun grabs his mother’s hands, “Something smells really nice. Did you cook dinner for me?”

 

And even though everywhere hurts, Minhyun is going to put on his best smile and pretend that everything is going just okay.

 

His mother’s frown finally relaxes into a smile on her lips.

 

“Put your bag in your room and come out for dinner.”

 

Minhyun hums, happy that he’s dodged a huge bullet when his mother chooses not to question him anymore about the injuries on his body. Maybe because she’s seen worse; so she doesn’t even blink an eye when Minhyun comes home like this anymore. 

 

“ _ Which friend was it _ \- did you make a new friend from school?”

 

Minhyun stops in his tracks right before he gets to his room.

 

“Uh,” he pauses, unsure how to answer.

 

Ong Seongwoo.

 

Minhyun has thought about him many times; too many to be considered normal ever since his mother had him transferred to the new school after the previous one had proved too unsafe. For some reason, Ong Seongwoo has been appearing everywhere. In school, outside school in a restaurant that Minki had recommended, and even in the darkest of alleys. 

 

Ong Seongwoo is always there, and Minhyun doesn’t know what to make out of it.

 

“Something like that,” he says vaguely, seeing that his mother is hard at work setting the table for both of them. She accepts his answer and tells him to quickly come out for dinner again.

  
  
  
  
  


In the comfort of his own room, Minhyun lets his legs give way and collapses onto his bed.

 

His eyes sting with new tears and he wipes them immediately, hating the mere thought of being so weak that he cannot take a few punches to his body. His hands reach his face, then graze over a plastic-y object on his cheek.

 

The plaster from earlier.

 

Minhyun gets up from his bed to check on himself in the mirror and a breath catches in his throat when he sees the ugly bruise on his collar bone when he takes off his shirt. Thank God his face had avoided most of the fight because his mother would never forgive him for getting into trouble after all she had done to keep him out of it.

 

Eyes trailing down his body, Minhyun discovers worse.

 

Just under his rib area where he’d felt a sharp pain earlier, it is still red and Minhyun feels dizzy just looking at it. He throws on a shirt from his cupboard and pretends it doesn’t exist anymore. 

 

He looks back in the mirror and his eyes finally catch sight of the plaster on his cheek.

 

A light blue Pororo sticker, Minhyun recognises the famous character on his cheek along with the character’s many friends, Minhyun assumes. It looks anything but intimidating and Minhyun wishes he could rip off the plaster but he doesn’t. He just chuckles at the thought of Ong Seongwoo putting this on him and smiles.

 

Maybe he can keep this plaster on until after meal time.

  
  
  
  
  


“Hyun ah, why are you taking such a long time?” his mother gestures for him to hurry up when they’re approaching the tall building already filled with a crowd of people, all dressed in neat dress shirts and long pants. 

 

Minhyun starts to feel out of place when he realises that he fits in just nicely with the light blue long sleeved shirt his mother had forced him into wearing this morning along with tight black jeans that make him feel like he cannot breathe.

 

His jeans aren’t the only things restricting his airflow.

 

The amount of people in this church is suffocating, to say the least. His mother has always been one to listen to other’s easily, and when one of her friends from the salon his mother had recently started going to had recommended for her to come to church on Sunday to make friends with the other ladies in the neighbourhood, she had agreed immediately.

 

“We’re not even religious,” Minhyun argued countless times on the way here.

 

“We can always be open,” his mother smiles back. “Plus, I’m sure you can meet new friends here rather than in school. I heard the kids here are really nice. Let’s just give it a try, Hyun? Please?”

 

And Minhyun knows he cannot ever say  _ no _ to his mother.

 

“Come on,” she pulls him in by the arm which still hurts. He grimaces, careful not to let it show on his face lest his mother finds out. 

 

“Mrs Hwang, over here!” a young-looking lady waves them over. 

 

“You made it, I’m so happy. I’ve heard that your family isn’t religious but we’re so happy to have you here anyway,” the lady exchanges more greetings with his mother as Minhyun looks around. More people are settling into their chairs for what Minhyun assumes to be “service” to start. There are even people setting up instruments on stage.

 

“Is this your son?” she finally diverts the attention to Minhyun, who bows immediately.

 

“Ah, hello. My name is Hwang Minhyun,” Minhyun greets.

 

“Oh no, your son is so handsome. What happened to his face?”

 

Minhyun’s hand instinctively goes to the now open cut for everyone to see. He’d removed the plaster and decided it would be better to let the wound air. He didn’t think that it would draw so much attention.

 

“He’s a clumsy boy and fell,” his mother chides. “You have a son too, right, Mrs Ong?”

 

Minhyun’s brain almost short circuits then.  _ Ong  _ is not a common family name; but then again it cannot be  _ that _ common right? He looks around, then curses at himself and almost laughs out loud. It is ridiculous that he would see Ong Seongwoo here; when the other boy acts like such a delinquent in school. Smoking, detention, fighting, you name it, Minhyun has heard it.

 

Almost as ridiculous as Minhyun himself being in here.

 

“Oh! That reminds me – we have a special service for teenagers apart from the adults so Minhyun can join people his age instead of staying here with us. I’ll get Seongwoo to show him around. Hold on-  _ Seongwoo _ !”

 

Ong is a rare family name.  _ Ong Seongwoo _ is an even rarer name.

 

Minhyun is not religious but he prays that the boy constantly wearing a cocky smirk with his dirty and crumpled school uniform and fucking  _ charming _ lopsided smile does not show up right now. 

 

And in a way, God grants his prayer.

 

The boy that stands in front of him is wearing a nicely ironed plaid button up shirt. He wears rounded glasses and doesn’t have slick gelled up hair. Instead, his hair is parted in the middle and there is no trace of arrogance on his face. None at all.

 

Yet, when he holds out his hand to Minhyun, he still has the same cheeky smile.

 

“Nice to meet you, I’m Ong Seongwoo. And you are?”

  
  
  
  
  


“Everyone, say hi to Hwang Minhyun. He’s new here and probably really shy like most of you here when you first came so please be nice to him!”

 

Minhyun thinks this may be some sort of twisted dream or nightmare because he doesn’t recognize the boy in front of him at all. On the outside, he looks nothing like the Ong Seongwoo in school. The Ong Seongwoo in school would probably be asking  _ this  _ Ong Seongwoo to do his homework and would steal his lunchbox if he didn’t. And the way he speaks to people – so full of care Minhyun can almost hear the honey dripping from his voice.

 

He just stands at the side, silently observing Seongwoo.

 

“You can sit next to me,” Seongwoo comes over to him and grabs his wrist. “I promise the first time is the worst.”

 

“ _ What the f- _ “ Minhyun almost lets slip when he feels the other’s eyes on him and Seongwoo.

 

Seongwoo just gives him the look that shuts him up and tells him  _ we’ll talk later _ . Minhyun is in no mood to let his school persona slip in church and risk Seongwoo telling his mother what really happened to him on Friday.

 

That would be ugly to address in this  _ sacred  _ place, anyway.

 

“You should introduce yourself!” someone calls out to Minhyun, a girl, probably around his age.

 

The last thing Minhyun wants to do now is introduce himself in front of a bunch of weirdly excited teenagers. They’re all eagerly waiting on him to say something when Seongwoo jumps in, “I think we should give him some time to settle in first, yeah? We know his name is Minhyun, he’s seventeen, and we should all be nice to him. Now, who wants to start sharing first?”

  
  
  
  
  


This is weird.

 

Minhyun decides that when he is exactly one hour into this new thing where Seongwoo is making some teenagers share stories of themselves where they had felt close to  _ God  _ and they all clap when someone finishes sharing.

 

Seongwoo never looks at him; not even spares him a glance throughout the entire thing. Minhyun thinks that Seongwoo must be really bent on not spoiling his own nice boy cover he has here in church.

 

Then, they talk about something in the Bible Minhyun isn’t really listening to.

 

He’s just looking at Seongwoo – and wondering why the fuck he has such a nice smile when he talks to the other teenagers in their group and how his voice sounds so nice when he sings with the other boys and girls who lead something called worship and how he just  _ cannot _ take his eyes off Ong Seongwoo.

 

“That concludes today. As always feel free to grab food and come and talk to me if you have any other burning questions. If not, I’ll see you all next week!”

 

Minhyun thinks now is the right time to find his mother and go the fuck home. It has been such a strange day and he thinks his bruise on his chest is starting to hurt again. He needs to get home and take the painkillers he had bought without his mother’s knowledge yesterday – when the pain was becoming too much to bear.

 

He hangs back in the corner for a while more as teenagers crowd the only exit as they say goodbye to Seongwoo and tell him that they’ll be back next week. 

 

Finally, the room quietens when people have more or less gone home.

 

“Aren’t you leaving?” Seongwoo talks to him the first time ever since the introduction.

 

As opposed to the attention Minhyun usually gets from Seongwoo in school, the lack of now is very puzzling and makes him even more curious about the other boy. 

 

“I-“ Minhyun doesn’t even know where to start. “You look… different.”

 

Seongwoo lifts his glasses slightly, like it’s a habit and chuckles softly.

 

“Don’t make it so obvious,” Seongwoo mumbles as he arranges the leftover food on the table behind them. “And you don’t look too bad yourself either.”

 

“You can’t not appear in front of me, can you?” Minhyun hisses, somehow angry that even the biggest mess otherwise known as Ong Seongwoo seems to have his life together – at least on Sundays. While he butters up clueless teenagers, Minhyun is probably going to have to go home and spend the rest of his allowance on more painkillers.

 

“It was nice meeting you, Minhyun,” Seongwoo says out loud with that same obnoxious grin.

 

_ Hopeless _ , Minhyun tells himself as he leaves the room and Seongwoo alone. This whole church thing was a joke and so is Ong Seongwoo. He finds his mother talking happily with the other ladies and drags her away immediately, not wanting to spend another second more in this suffocating place.

  
  
  
  
  


“-and then Minhyun was really cool when he jumped in to help,” Minki says, nudging Minhyun in the ribs for good measure, making him grimace in pain as the others laugh at his suffering. He manages a small smile to tell everyone that he’s fine.

 

“You just don’t look like the type to know how to use your fists, you know?” Minki continues, telling their “interesting story” to the rest who weren’t there on Friday when Minki had pissed off guys from some other school when they looked at him a little too long.

 

Minhyun just shakes his head in denial, “My old school was much worse.”

 

“Really?” Jonghyun probes. “Was that why you transferred?”

 

Minhyun nods. 

 

“All you have here are makeshift gangsters,” Minhyun mutters, looking at only one skinny boy at the other end of the field with the rest of his friends, all laughing loudly like uncultured teenagers. “Anything but the real thing.”

 

“Wah, Hwang Minhyun is really cool,” Dongho jokes, making them explode into fits of laughter.

 

Minhyun just smiles and accepts the joint that he is offered.

  
  
  
  
  


“Don’t limp if you don’t want people to think you’re weak.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

Seongwoo just taps on Minhyun’s waist. 

 

“It hurts here?”

 

Minhyun swats his hand away, “Don’t touch me.”

 

Seongwoo deflates back into his seat. Minhyun just watches as people trail out from the cafeteria when the bell sounds. He’s not in the mood for math, and he didn’t bring his textbook today, so he decides he might as well not go at all. He doesn’t expect to see Ong Seongwoo in the same art room he’d found just this morning.

 

“Here?” Seongwoo’s hand moves up, and Minhyun flinches when he puts pressure on his ever-so-slowly recovering bruise.

 

“Fuck off,” Minhyun snaps, grabbing Seongwoo’s wrist. “I said not to touch me.”

 

“If you don’t want people to say anything about it then don’t go around walking with a limp,” Seongwoo says. “And if it hurts just say it hurts – what about it? No use pretending like it doesn’t.”

 

“Is this Sunday School Seongwoo speaking?” Minhyun smirks.

 

Seongwoo remains relaxed, as if he’d known Minhyun would bring this up.

 

“So, the famous Ong Seongwoo is religious and sings worship songs with other boys and girls on Sunday,” Minhyun just smiles at the picture in his head. “But when he comes back to school on Monday, it’s all about who has the bloodiest fist and who walks around with a limp? Let me live my life and I’ll live yours, okay?”

 

“Hwang Minhyun, don’t talk like you know me. Just because you see more of me doesn’t mean you understand me,” Seongwoo snaps. He slips something into Minhyun’s pocket and walks away.

 

Minhyun just sighs and settles in a little corner.

 

He pulls out the tube of medication from his pocket and grimaces as he rubs it on himself.

 

It hurts; it hurts so much he wishes he didn’t have to face this all alone.

  
  
  
  
  


Seongwoo tells himself not to care. It’s none of his business; and being involved will only bring him more trouble. He already has enough on his hands. Re: being the nice religious boy his family thinks he is and the cool, unbothered friend others think he is.

 

“Want to go play basketball?” Daniel suggests one day after school.

 

“Ah, I want to go to the PC room,” Sungwoon stretches his fingers like he is getting ready to do some sort of heavy workout.

 

“You guys are such losers,” Jaehwan rolls his eyes. “But I’ll go to the PC room with you. Daniel, forget basketball. It’s not going to make that freshman fall for you; we need you on our team if we’re going to play.”

 

Daniel gives in quickly at the compliment.

 

“Seongwoo? Want to come along?” Sungwoon tugs on his uniform.

 

Seongwoo opens his mouth to agree when Daniel interrupts.

 

“ _ Wait _ \- isn’t that Hwang Minhyun?”

 

He hates how fast his head turns at the mention of someone’s name, but he follows Daniel’s gaze to a tall figure in their school uniform walking with his hands in his pockets up the hill the opposite way of where they are going.

 

Trailing behind Minhyun are three other men, one with a bat in his hand and Seongwoo knows there can be no happy ending to this. 

 

“Let’s go,” Seongwoo makes his decision.

 

“But-“ Jaehwan starts to disagree. “Are you sure, Seongwoo?”

 

“It’s an unfair fight,” Seongwoo replies coldly. “You can stay here if you are scared.”

 

Being scared is for the people who don’t know how to fight. Being scared is for people who have to face things like this alone. Seongwoo knows that Minhyun is scared, but at least he doesn’t have to be scared alone anymore. 

  
  
  
  
  


“Leave me the fuck alone,” Minhyun makes sure to stress every word, looking at the three men in front of him. He swears it upon his life he’s not scared, it is just that when he catches a glimpse of the bat in one of their hands he starts to think that his fists will no longer be enough.

 

“It looks like the injuries you had from before have healed,” one of them says, tipping up Minhyun’s chin and assessing the damage done to his face from before. “Does it mean that it’s time for round 2?”

 

Minhyun backs up until his back touches the wall behind him.

 

“I said leave me alone before I call the cops,” Minhyun warns, although he knows best that these are all empty words.

 

“Just return us our money and we’ll leave you alone, Hyun ah.”

 

The leader, it seems, wears a triumphant smile on his lips when the nickname that Minhyun’s family has given to him rolls off his tongue. Minhyun’s fists clench and even before he can talk himself out of it, he lands his fist on the jaw of the leader.

 

“Ah-  _ fuck _ ,” he recovers soon enough, spitting the blood onto the floor. “You didn’t have to make this so hard.”

 

Minhyun closes his eyes when the bat is raised. In that moment, he thinks about his mother. How his mother would react when, or if, someone found him on the ground, bleeding from his head. She shouldn’t have to suffer – not when she’s already suffered enough. He can only hope for the impact to be quick.

 

It never comes.

 

“Hey!”

 

Then comes the sound of shoes running towards Minhyun.

 

“Get out of here, I’ve already called the cops!”

 

When he opens his eyes, the sun is still shining bright above him but he manages to see the four boys who come to his rescue – one of which he recognises; the same one that is holding up his cell phone and yelling at his attackers.

 

“They’re your friends, Hyun?”

 

Minhyun shakes his head, no. Because he doesn’t want anyone else to get involved in this. This is his dirty business, so he should be the one to take care of it.

 

He also doesn’t want for Ong Seongwoo to see him like  _ this _ .

 

“I didn’t know someone like you could have friends,” the leader bends down to meet Minhyun’s eyes. “But the next time I come, you better have the money ready. I don’t want to play games with you anymore – especially since you keep inviting people to our playdates. Next time, I’ll pay a visit to you mom, okay?”

 

They pat Minhyun’s head condescendingly and leave, not before exchanging dirty looks with the other boys.

 

Minhyun crumbles, legs losing strength from the mere fright.

 

“Ya, Hwang Minhyun. Are you okay?”

 

“Leave me alone,” Minhyun swats the helping hand Seongwoo offers him away. “You shouldn’t involve yourself in other people’s business, you know.”

 

“Hey- he was the one who saved  _ you _ ,” the smallest in size of the group snaps. He’s fierce, reminds Minhyun of a Pomeranian his cousin once had.  _ Ha Sungwoon _ , he recalls his name now.

 

“It’s fine,” Seongwoo says softly. “We’re already…  _ acquainted _ , right?” 

 

_ Acquainted, my foot _ , Minhyun thinks. They just so happen to see each other more than they both would like. And what’s worse than Minhyun’s mortal enemy nursing him back to health is him bringing his friends along to gawk at Minhyun.

 

“Stand up,” Seongwoo commands. “We’re going back to my house.”

 

“But… PC room-“ his other friend, Kang Daniel, protests before Seongwoo shoots him a look that shuts him right up.

 

“I’m not going to your house,” Minhyun hisses.

 

“ _ You will _ ,” Seongwoo insists. He leans into Minhyun’s ear to whisper, “Or I’ll tell your mother.”

 

It is such a childish phrase Minhyun has heard elementary students yell at each other, yet he feels the same kind of fear when Ong Seongwoo shoots him that stupid knowing smile of his and Minhyun has nothing left to say to refute. The last thing he needs now is for his mother to worry about him, so Minhyun thinks he can give in and bruise his pride a little to keep her safe.

 

“Come on,” Seongwoo urges.

 

Minhyun hates it. He sounds almost  _ kind _ .

 

Almost like he cares.

 

“What are you looking at,” Seongwoo snaps at his friends who, the least to say are dumbfounded at the scene in front of them. “Get going and stop staring. He’s not even  _ that _ handsome.”

 

They immediately turn away and give Minhyun his privacy.

 

Minhyun is _almost_ grateful to Seongwoo for that.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. PART TWO

_ ♫  Strawberries and Cigarettes - Troye Sivan  ♫ _

__

_ You sat and stared at my lips, _

_ And I could already feel your kiss _

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Dibs on the chips!” Jaehwan yells as soon as Seongwoo unlocks the door for them. The rest of the hooligans run into Seongwoo’s humble abode while calling dibs on things that are not even theirs. Only Minhyun hangs back, unsure of what he should do.

 

“You’ve been here,” Seongwoo says when the others are out of earshot. “Come on.”

 

Hesitantly, Minhyun follows Seongwoo in and eyes the boys who have already settled themselves in on Seongwoo’s couch and switched on his game console.

 

“Don’t make a mess! You know how much my parents like you guys already.”

 

They yell back something equally incoherent while Seongwoo turns back to Minhyun.

 

“Follow me, I have something for you.”

  
  
  
  
  


Ong Seongwoo’s bedroom is nothing like what Minhyun would have imagined a week ago. He would’ve thought it would be filled with smoke and ugly band posters no one knows the name of. Instead, the room is well-lit and Minhyun even catches a scent of lavender. His walls are clean, only with some frames of what must be verses from the bible.

 

He even has some pictures of his family on his desk.

 

This is Sunday School Seongwoo’s room.

 

“Here,” Seongwoo interrupts his train of thought after rummaging through one of his drawers. “I thought you might need this.”

 

Minhyun just stares at the bottle in Seongwoo’s hands.

 

“Painkillers,” Seongwoo explains, pushing it into Minhyun’s own palm. “Don’t worry, I’m not trying to poison you.”

 

He gulps nervously.

 

“Why are you giving me this?”

 

Seongwoo just smiles, “Looks like you need it more than I do.”

 

Minhyun has no idea how he should respond to that.

 

“Put your bag down. Do you want to take a bath? Change? I’m sure I could find you some clothes that would fit your size. Daniel has some old shirts here.”

 

Ong Seongwoo is acting weird. He’s being way too nice to someone who has done nothing but reject his help and spewed insults in his face just because Minhyun didn’t like the sight of him.

 

“It’s okay,” Minhyun mumbles.

 

Seongwoo smirks, fingers already unbuttoning his uniform.

 

“Well then, don’t mind me.”

 

Minhyun averts his eyes just to give Seongwoo the privacy he didn’t explicitly ask for, fumbling with his fingers as he tries to figure out what exactly he is doing here. It isn’t until Seongwoo speaks again that the silence is finally broken.

 

“From now on, you come out with us after school. We usually go and chill at someone’s house, or go to the PC room if we have money-  _ are you good at games? _ Oh, who cares, you better be or Daniel will kick your ass. If Jaehwan wants to buy us food, we’ll go and eat.”

 

Minhyun frowns, “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

 

Seongwoo clicks his tongue.

 

“I’m sure Mrs Hwang would love to hear from me what exactly her son has gotten himself into.”

 

Minhyun grabs Seongwoo’s collar; not exactly the most ethical thing to do to someone who just saved your life.

 

“Are you threatening me?”

 

“I’m just trying to keep you safe,” Seongwoo says. No smile, no weird glint in his eyes; almost like he means what he says.

 

“I don’t need your help.”

 

Minhyun knows he sounds stupid. Who is he kidding? Everything hurts so bad and he’s so lonely, he just doesn’t want anyone else to see how weak he is.

 

“Well, I need yours. Taking care of two kids and one fierce Pomeranian is no easy work.”

  
  
  
  
  


“Hey, sit down. You’re making me nervous by just standing there.”

 

Hwang Minhyun either loves standing up or is too much of a robot to take the first initiative to do something. Seongwoo assumes it is the latter. He pats on his bed, “Come on. I’m not going to eat you up, damn it.”

 

“Why,  _ scared _ ?” he taunts, knowing it will get Minhyun to move.

 

Minhyun narrows his eyes at Seongwoo, lets his bag fall onto the floor and takes a tentative seat on Seongwoo’s bed.

 

“I’m not going to tell you.”

 

“Tell me what?”

 

“What happened back there, who those guys were, why they were coming after me.”

 

“I’m not interested.”

 

Seongwoo’s lying. He’s fucking curious as to why three grown men were going after a high school boy like Minhyun. It couldn’t have been a petty fist-fight, because coming from personal experience, those usually happen between childish high schoolers like himself and not people that look like actual gangsters.

 

But he respects Minhyun’s choice.

 

“If you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to,” Seongwoo replies lightly.

 

Minhyun doesn’t say anything in return to that. He doesn’t talk very much. Or maybe he just doesn’t like Seongwoo very much – which is plain for the world to see.

 

“Do you want to go down and play video games with the rest of them or stay up here?”

 

He knows Minhyun probably wants to say something like, “neither” but he also knows that he has the upper hand in their relationship now.

 

“I… I’ll stay here.”

 

“Alright,” Seongwoo hums.

 

It’s not weird at all for the two of them to sit in silence in Seongwoo’s bedroom with the second-hand ticking, reminding them how slow time is passing. Seongwoo wants to talk to Minhyun, ask him what’s wrong, but he holds back. It’s really none of his business. All he wants to do is make sure someone doesn’t get hurt under his watch.

 

That’s all.

 

After what seems like an eternity, Minhyun speaks up first.

 

“Help me.”

 

Seongwoo puts down his book.

 

“What was that?”

 

“Help me, Seongwoo.”

 

It’s the first time his name escapes from Minhyun’s mouth without any menace or frustration.

 

It’s just Minhyun – and he’s calling Seongwoo’s name.

  
  
  
  
  


Minhyun feels so stupid.

 

He’s in Seongwoo’s bed, thinking about his own. He thinks about how his mother makes his bed every morning for him. He thinks about everything she has done for him and what he has done for her.

 

Nothing.

 

Ever since the start, she’s given him her everything. Minhyun can’t even do anything to repay her.

 

“Help me, Seongwoo.”

 

He’s calling  _ his _ name even before he can think it through. Minhyun doesn’t know of anyone else in this world that would respond to his cry right now except for the annoying delinquent – or church boy, who is sitting beside him. It feels like the world is too big for him to conquer on his own, and he needs someone who is willing to hold his hand through that journey.

 

“What is it, Minhyun? What do you need help with?”

 

Where does Minhyun even start?

 

“Use your words or I won’t be able to help you,” Seongwoo encourages him.

 

He sniffs and looks up at the ceiling, “I need a job.”

 

Seongwoo blinks.

 

“Okay. That’s all?”

 

“For now, yes.”

 

Seongwoo exhales slowly, nodding his head.

 

“Alright. I’ll get you a part-time job. I know some people and I think you’ll pass the interview almost immediately. We’ll go together tomorrow after school, okay?”

 

Minhyun finds himself nodding numbly along with Seongwoo’s words. It all feels like a buzz he doesn’t understand, but he agrees anyway. Even if it is a tiny effort, he feels the burden on his shoulders lighten ever so slightly.

 

It is then he realises that Seongwoo has glow in the dark stickers on his ceiling.

  
  
  
  
  


“Good afternoon, your majesty.”

 

Minhyun makes sure to let Seongwoo see his eye roll. They meet at the back gate of their school, far away from the eyes of many other students. As far as Seongwoo is concerned, this is a secret meant for the both of them to keep only. He’d sent the rest of his friends to the PC room they so longed for yesterday.

 

“What, you don’t like the name? It’s what the entire school is calling you.”

 

Good news: Minhyun showed up and he isn’t looking  _ too _ annoyed with Seongwoo yet.

 

Bad news: None, at the moment.

 

It is going pretty well so far, actually.

 

“They’re stupid,” Minhyun mumbles.

 

Seongwoo leads the way for them.

 

“I should have brought some extra clothes for you to change into,” Seongwoo muses, looking Minhyun up and down. Not too bad, actually. Minhyun had probably put some extra effort into styling himself today.

 

“-Not that it matters!” he quickly adds. “I’m sure you’ll get the job anyway.”

 

“It’s not something strange, right?” Minhyun looks at him suspiciously and Seongwoo fakes an offended gasp while holding his hand over his heart.

 

“I would never,” he swears.

 

Minhyun leaves it at that because he’s Hwang Minhyun. He just gives Seongwoo a small, fleeting smile and Seongwoo considers that a small victory. They walk in silence for a few minutes until Minhyun says, “I’ve never had a part-time job before.”

 

Seongwoo snorts, “Privileged, much?”

 

“Shut up,” Minhyun snaps back.

 

“Relax. It’ll be fine!” he tries to comfort Minhyun, seeing that he’s unsure about this whole setup.

 

They stop in front of a chicken store.

 

Minhyun stares at Seongwoo quizzically.

 

“What are you waiting for?” he holds open the door for the confused boy. “Come in.”

 

Seongwoo is greeted by the aromatic scent of fried chicken being cooked in the kitchen and of course, the squeal that comes from Mrs Lee when she sees Seongwoo in her store.

 

“ _ Seongwoo _ ! You made it,” she wraps him in a tight hug.

 

“I did,” he pats her back reassuringly. “And I brought a friend, too.”

 

“Ah, you’re here to have chicken?”

 

Seongwoo smiles sheepishly, “Actually… I was wondering if you would have any vacancies for part timers.”

  
  
  
  
  


Minhyun’s footsteps feel light when he comes out of the manager’s office – which is really just a small room where Mrs Lee had offered him biscuits and talked about his working hours and pay. He gets the job even without going through an interview and Mrs Lee assures him that he can start next week if he is still not ready.

 

He can’t help but smile when he steps out of the office and sees Seongwoo grinning back at him.

 

“I got the job,” is all he says, waving his uniform lightly.

 

“I’m proud of you,” Seongwoo pretends to wipe a fake tear from his eye.

 

“I didn’t even have to do anything,” Minhyun starts to protest.

 

“Of course. Mrs Lee loves me, and so does her son, Daehwi. You probably saw him at church last week. Small and skinny boy but loves to talk and sings really well? He’s an angel, really.”

 

Minhyun should have known.

 

Church connections.

 

He folds his arms, “Well, don’t expect me to buy into your church stuff just because of this. I don’t believe in any of that.”

 

“I know,” Seongwoo sighs.

 

Not long after, a plate of fried chicken is served to them, piping hot. Minhyun’s mouth starts to water unconsciously.

 

“If you’re going to work here, you might as well know what you’re going to be serving. Dig in.”

 

Not only did Seongwoo get him his first part-time job, he’s also feeding Minhyun.

 

“How can I thank you?”

 

Seongwoo doesn’t even wait for Minhyun to sink his teeth into the first drumstick he lays his eyes on.

 

“Buy me dinner with your first paycheck?” he suggests with his mouth full of chicken and Minhyun dives in, not wanting to miss out on the delicacy.

 

Minhyun decides that Ong Seongwoo is not all that bad, after all.

 

And the chicken tastes heavenly. He thinks he will have absolutely no problem excelling at his job.

  
  
  
  
  


As Minhyun is doing what he learns is called “closing”, his muscles are aching and his back feels like it is going to break anytime. But apart from all the pain - he is happy. He has not felt so alive, so in tune with the entire world for a long time and he is glad that somehow, this part time job has pulled him back into reality.

 

The sky is pitch black when he locks up. He wonders why Mrs Lee had entrusted someone she did not know at all with the key to the place on his first week but he makes a wild guess that it must be something connected to him being friends with Seongwoo.

 

All these church people - do they all trust their own so blindly?

 

He does not want to admit to himself, but he is a little disappointed that even when he keeps the keys back into his pocket safely and walks back home still smelling like fried chicken, a familiar annoying and obnoxious grin is nowhere to be seen.

  
  
  
  
  


Seongwoo sees Minhyun next on Sunday.

 

They rarely bump into each other in school because of conflicting lunchtimes. (Yes, he had sent Daniel to go and find out Minhyun’s timetable just so he could pretend to bump into the other boy.) It is slightly disappointing, but Seongwoo holds onto the faith that Minhyun will do just fine at his new job. He does consider going to look for Minhyun but he’s afraid the other wouldn’t appreciate the gesture.

 

“Good morning. You look well-rested.”

 

Minhyun, for one, is early today.

 

Honestly, Seongwoo wasn’t even expecting for him to show up at all. Minhyun does not ever look like he wants to be at church. It is always a pleasant surprise to see the usual messy and unbothered Minhyun showing up in a neat shirt and a softened aura on Sundays.

 

Minhyun frowns at Seongwoo, probably wondering why he cannot figure this boy out.

 

This is Seongwoo’s game to play. He always has the upper hand. He knows it is confusing - being a so-called delinquent on weekdays and then transforming into a saint on Sundays. If anyone has an identity crisis, it would be him. But he’s been doing this his entire life, so he doesn’t blame Minhyun for feeling conflicted.

 

“My mother likes this place.”

 

“It is a nice place,” Seongwoo replies while arranging the chairs in the room before the others turn up. Minhyun just watches from the side.

 

“What’s there not to like?”

 

Minhyun’s lip twitches, and Seongwoo knows he has hit a sore spot.

 

“Everything. It’s suffocating and people are too nice.”

 

“You don’t like people being nice to you?” Seongwoo raises his eyebrows in mock confusion he knows will piss the other boy off. 

 

“I much prefer people to show their real selves instead, even if it is not pretty to the rest of the world.”

 

Ouch. Hwang Minhyun does have a way with words.

 

Seongwoo would be hurt if he,  _ you know _ , actually cared.

 

“Then why don’t you show who you are to the rest of us today?” Seongwoo regains his composure and smiles directly at Minhyun. “Since you like being yourself so much.”

 

It is a challenge Seongwoo should never have posed to the other. As much as Seongwoo loves challenges, he is not aware of how much Minhyun hates losing to one.

  
  
  
  
  


“-what about you, Minhyun? Do  _ you  _ believe in heaven?”

 

If someone had asked a seven year old Minhyun, he would probably say yes. So many stories from men all around the world had attested to the existence of this wonderful place. It sounds so happy, so carefree and so easy to believe in, he would be a fool to shake his head and say no.

 

But now, with Ong Seongwoo looking straight at him, Minhyun knows he has a different answer.

 

“I um- I don’t think it exists,” Minhyun shrugs when some people gasp and Seongwoo gestures for them so stay silent and let Minhyun continue with what he was saying before. “I think it is nothing but a gimmick that people pull so that we pretend that we have something to look forward to in the afterlife.”

 

Seongwoo does not frown upon his opinion.

 

Instead, he smiles.

 

“I don’t know. Maybe I’m the type of person that needs to see things to believe it.”

 

“All you have to do is- for once in your life, believe things before you see them,” another voice pipes up. It is the girl that had asked Minhyun to introduce himself at the previous session. She does not look too happy with Minhyun’s view of seeing things.

 

Some people nod along.

 

“It is too much to punish people for not believing in something they cannot see.”

 

“Alright,” Seongwoo speaks up above the two, smartly controlling the situation before it spirals out of control because Minhyun is starting to feel a certain type of anger rise up in his chest. “Both opinions are valid. We can’t just force people to believe in us blindly right, Joy?”

 

Joy crosses her arms but nods, trying her best to understand.

 

Minhyun, on the other hand, has shut his ears early on. He has a feeling everyone sitting in this circle is already against him.

 

He wonders if he wants Seongwoo to be on his side or not.

  
  
  
  
  


“I’m glad you participated today,” Seongwoo says after everyone has left the room and he has purposely called Minhyun to stay back. Minhyun hangs back at the back of the room, sipping from a cup, watching as Seongwoo says goodbye to each and every one; even giving hugs and hi-fives to the ones who ask him for it.

 

“You asked me a question. I wasn’t just going to ignore you.”

 

“That’s good,” Seongwoo pauses. “I’m… I’m really thankful for that.”

 

Minhyun squints at him, “Are you mad at me?”

 

Seongwoo looks at him strangely.

 

“For what?”

 

Minhyun shrugs, chucking the cup away in a bin.

 

“I don’t know. For discrediting  _ heaven  _ and everything that you believe in?”

 

Seongwoo chuckles, “No, I’m not mad. Why would I be? I like it much better when people express their own opinions. It helps me to understand them a lot better. And today, I think I learnt a lot about you, Hwang Minhyun.”

 

If there is anything that makes Minhyun more uncomfortable than people prying about his personal life, it is people thinking that they know him without even making the effort to. He tries his best to be mad, but it is hard to say something mean to the same boy who greets everyone in church with a sunshine smile and chit chats with the elderly. (Yes, he had spotted Seongwoo talking to an elderly couple earlier animatedly.)

 

Seongwoo pushes his glasses upwards, and Minhyun guesses it must be a habit.

 

“How is work? Is Mrs Lee treating you well?”

 

It feels weird to mix weekday things with Sunday School. Strangely enough, it is hard to believe that Bad Boy Seongwoo exists when he is faced with Sunday School Seongwoo.

 

“You already know she is. Church people are too overly nice, she already entrusted me with the key.”

 

Seongwoo giggles good-naturedly, listening to Minhyun but never interrupting him.

 

“Sometimes it gets a little lonely though.”

 

Seongwoo lifts his head, grinning, “I get it. You want me to visit you.”

 

Minhyun puffs out his cheeks, annoyed.

 

“I did not say that.”

 

“You  _ implied  _ that.”

 

“What I say is strictly up to your own interpretation. I could say a lot of things- I could say that I don’t mind your company when what I really mean is that I’m putting up with you because everyone else is-”

 

Minhyun’s rambles are stopped by Seongwoo’s hand on the nape of his neck.

 

“Your ears are red,” comes a teasing whisper.

 

He is betrayed yet again by his easily reddening ears.

 

“It is hot in here,” Minhyun snaps back, trying to maintain a straight face as much as possible.

 

Minhyun has never put much thought into it. He never should, anyway. It is wrong - for his breath to hitch when Seongwoo’s face inches closer to his own.

 

His features are so defined; as if they were sculpted carefully by God himself.

 

“Don’t hold your breath, Minhyunnie.”

 

Minhyun wants to struggle, he wants to fight back and push this man away, pretend like he isn’t at all flustered at how Seongwoo’s face is so close to his their noses are almost touching. Yet, as if he has been put under a spell, he stays and listens.

 

When Seongwoo’s thumb flicks over Minhyun’s chin, he shudders.

 

The boy standing in front of him is no church boy, he is the devil himself.

 

Before Minhyun can even stop himself from making one of the worst decisions of his life, his head is tipping forward. His eyes are only set on one thing.  _ Seongwoo _ , being the slightly shorter one of the two.

 

For a long time in a while, Minhyun’s heart is filled with something unfamiliar.

 

_ Want. _

 

_ Greed. _

 

He asks himself: is this really want he wants?

 

Then he realises that he never second guesses himself. What is so special about Ong Seongwoo that is making Minhyun question the severity of his own actions?

 

And the real question: Does he actually want to kiss Ong Seongwoo?

 

The extended version is as follows: Does he want to kiss Monday Seongwoo, or Sunday Seongwoo?

 

Questions swarm his mind and cloud his judgement - so Minhyun dives down to capture the bespectacled boy’s lips in his own.

 

His heart tells him this is indeed, what he wants.

 

Seongwoo does not move for a second, and Minhyun is worried that he is going to cry or break down and call the cops. Maybe he will even go on his knees and beg for forgiveness from the heavens after this. Maybe, just maybe. Because now Seongwoo is kissing him back.

 

Kissing  _ him  _ back.

 

The empty room used for teenage worship service is only filled with lewd noises that Minhyun cannot bring himself to believe is coming from their mouths. It is so dirty, yet Minhyun thinks that it sounds almost…

 

heavenly.

 

There is a light knock on the door that Minhyun doesn’t even hear, but apparently Seongwoo does because he pushes Minhyun away so fast, Minhyun can still taste Seongwoo on him when a friendly face peeks in.

 

“Seongwoo? Why are you taking so long?”

 

Minhyun doesn’t even know why Seongwoo smoothes out the non-existent creases on his shirt. He doesn’t even look Minhyun in the eye.

 

“I just had to clean up some things,” Seongwoo says, sheepishly smiling.

 

Morning coffee. More bitter than sweet.

 

That is what Sunday School Seongwoo tastes like.

 

“Oh. Minhyun’s here too,” Mrs Ong grins at Minhyun, who is still frozen in his place while Seongwoo haphazardly pushes the chairs he had set out before to the side. “I hope Seongwoo is treating you well in here.”

 

What she doesn’t know wouldn’t kill her, really.

 

Minhyun manages a tiny smile.

 

“I’m adjusting just fine, thank you.”

 

Seongwoo just clears his throat, catching Minhyun’s attention immediately. He cannot take his eyes off the other, even when he is not spared a glance.

 

“I’ll just- I need to go to the toilet.”

 

He even sprints out of the room, avoiding Minhyun like the plague.

 

“Your mother is waiting for you outside,” Mrs Ong says as a closing statement before she goes after her son.

 

Minhyun isn’t even the least bit surprised. This is what happens when you kiss church boys and expect them to kiss you back.

 

He doesn’t even like Ong Seongwoo  _ that way _ .

 

_ Hell _ , he was this close to convincing himself that he hated Ong Seongwoo.

 

Minhyun doesn’t mind, not one bit. Not even when he lies in bed that night and can only think of one nice thing that he had in his life and how he had ruined it.

  
  
  
  
  


Seongwoo can’t sleep.

 

No matter how much he tosses or turns, he finds himself staring at the glow in the dark stickers on his ceiling and only one face surfaces in his mind.

 

The way Minhyun’s lips had moved on his was almost  _ sinful _ .

 

_ He had made out with Hwang Minhyun in church. _

 

The boy who had bravely said in front of everyone that he did not believe in heaven at all.

 

He had grabbed Minhyun’s neck as a joke; he liked seeing how flustered Minhyun got whenever someone entered his personal space. It was thrilling to see Minhyun have no idea how to act and freeze under Seongwoo’s touch.

 

It felt good, so good. Minhyun seemed to know exactly what he was doing to Seongwoo with  _ just  _ his lips.

 

Seongwoo does not get a wink of sleep that night.

  
  
  
  
  


“Ya, why are we here! You said we were going to the PC room!”

 

What follows is a chorus of agreements and whines when Seongwoo leads them into a familiar chicken place. He glares back at the trio, “Do you not need to eat? Huh? You can leave if you want to.”

 

They quieten immediately.

 

“But why here? There is a nicer one nearer to the-”

 

“Welcome to Magu Chicken, how can I help-”

 

Seongwoo knows he is a showstopper but he does not expect to cut two people off at the same time.

 

He does not know where he gets the newfound confidence from (probably from staying up the entire night) but when he sets out to school this morning, he has a new agenda in mind: not to let Hwang Minhyun beat him at  _ his  _ game.

 

Minhyun, to say the least, looks shocked to see him here. His lips part, but no words come out. Seongwoo remembers those lips very clearly; after all, it has been less than 24 hours since he has made out with them.

 

“ _ -you _ ,” Minhyun finally completes his sentence.

 

“We’re here to have chicken,” Seongwoo grins, showing himself to a nearby table. “Can’t we?”

 

Knowing Minhyun, he is probably thinking of a thousand and one things right now.

 

This is why Seongwoo will always have the upper-hand at this game. Minhyun only knows how to be himself while Seongwoo has had years of practice being a lot of people at once; knowing when to be who to please the people around him.

 

“Order what you want, guys,” Seongwoo makes sure to look Minhyun in the eye.

 

“I’m paying.”

  
  
  
  
  


Minhyun sighs exasperatedly when the boys start to ponder over the food choices. It really cannot be that hard to choose between fried and yangnyum chicken yet they have taken over ten minutes of Minhyun’s time, especially so when they don’t let him serve other customers while they try to decide: saying that they need his opinion.

 

“I want the fried one,” Seongwoo pouts at Jaehwan and Sungwoon who are on the other end of the spectrum. “I’m paying, so I get to make the choices.”

 

“Do you have no conscience? I’ve paid for all your meals before this,” Jaehwan replies, and Sungwoon agrees.

 

“How about we make it half-half,” Minhyun finally lets slip from his lips, unable to conceal his annoyance anymore.

 

Seongwoo grins at him, satisfied.

 

“As expected, our Minhyunnie is the smartest. We’ll go with that then.”

 

Minhyun wonders if Seongwoo hit his head really hard while running out of the room yesterday and ended up with short-term memory or he is just trying to test Minhyun - see whether he says anything about the kiss first. Well, Minhyun is not big on games but he is not going to voluntarily go to Ong Seongwoo and say, “Hey, about how I sucked your face yesterday.”

 

He just stares down Seongwoo and walks away.

 

“Ya hyung… I told you I liked him. You can’t go and hit on him.”

 

“Relax, Jaehwannie. I’m definitely  _ not  _ his type.”

 

He can practically hear the sneer in Seongwoo’s voice when he walks away and punches in their order to the kitchen.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. PART THREE

_ ♫  Wherever you will go - The Calling  ♫ _

__

_ Runaway with my heart, _

_ Runaway with my hope, _

_ Runaway with my love. _

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ong Seongwoo is definitely going all out to embarrass Minhyun.

 

He cannot tell if this is one of the other boy’s kinks or he just wants to get back at Minhyun for what happened on Sunday.

 

He doesn’t like it.

 

Not even when Seongwoo reappears for the third time that week and requests for, specifically Minhyun to take his order. Not even when Seongwoo can’t stop complimenting him on how nice he looks in the uniform. Not even when Seongwoo deliberately lets his hand fall on Minhyun’s when he brings Seongwoo’s order to the table.

 

Not even then.

 

Minhyun doesn’t like how Ong Seongwoo is blatantly flirting with him and he cannot do anything about it. It confuses him. He doesn’t like Seongwoo, definitely not. But his heart does feel weird things when the boy in a dishevelled uniform smiles at him.

 

“Ah,  _ The Hwang Minhyun _ , in the flesh.”

 

A voice interrupts Minhyun while he is trying to skip his last class for the day.

 

“Ah, The Most Annoying Gremlin on Earth.”

 

All of the memories of Sunday School Seongwoo are thrown to the dirt and crushed with Seongwoo’s very own muddy sneakers when he pulls out a joint and offers it to Minhyun, “Want one?”

 

“You shouldn’t smoke,” Minhyun frowns. “It’s unhealthy.”

 

“I’ve seen you smoke,” Seongwoo smartly yaps back. “With Kang Dongho and the rest.”

 

“It’s called social smoking, idiot. I don’t  _ actually  _ fancy burning out my lungs and dying before 50.”

 

“Hm. But you fancy humouring your fake friends _ just because. _ ”

 

Minhyun wonders how he could ever have had the urge to kiss Ong Seongwoo’s lips when all they spout are lies and taunts. He wonders how he could have felt attracted to Ong Seongwoo for even a few seconds.

 

He just shakes his head and walks away.

 

“Don’t go by that way,” Seongwoo calls out, extinguishing the cigarette with his shoes and gesturing to the path behind the school. “I know where you can get out unnoticed. Follow me.”

 

Seongwoo is great at this self-invitation thing.

 

“So where are we going?” Seongwoo looks at him quizzically when they make it out of school through a hole in the fence from the back of the school that is hidden by a bunch of overgrown plants.

 

Minhyun just stares at him, “ _ I _ am going out on my own, thank you very much.”

 

“I helped you get out. I also helped you get that job. I think you owe me one.”

 

He’s like an annoying leech that Minhyun cannot shake off.

 

“Fine. But if you keep asking questions then I’ll kick you away.”

 

“How many can I ask?”

 

Minhyun thinks he is going to get a headache.

 

“Five,” he finally says after massaging his temples. “Four now because you asked how many. Wait-  _ three  _ because you asked where we were going.”

 

“That’s not fair!  _ How- _ ” Seongwoo stops himself, and Minhyun can’t help but smile a little.

 

He has got Ong Seongwoo wrapped around his little finger. Well, at least for now.

  
  
  
  
  


Seongwoo can be quiet when he means to be. Even if every nerve in his body is bursting with questions to ask the boy in front of him, he shuts his mouth because Minhyun always means business.

 

They grab a drink from the nearby bubble tea store.

 

He takes note of Minhyun’s order, immediately memorizing it in his head.

 

Chocolate smoothie, 50% sugar.

 

“I want tteokbokki,” Seongwoo says, sipping on his own taro milk tea after Minhyun collects his drink.

 

Minhyun raises his eyebrows, “Brave of you to assume I want it too. But you can go on your own if you want.”

 

“You prohibited me from asking questions. I’m just working my way around that rule.”

 

He leans on the counter, staring Minhyun in his eyes, “Besides, I want to spend time with you.”

  
  
  
  
  


It is so frustrating. For the life of him, Minhyun cannot figure Ong Seongwoo out. One second he acts like Minhyun is the plague, and the next he is blatantly flirting with him in front of everyone else. Minhyun is sure that Seongwoo is a church boy at heart - he would never willingly flirt with anyone, especially a boy.

 

It seems like Minhyun is a huge exception.

 

Minhyun is partly to blame as well. He finds himself being unable to say no to Seongwoo. Even if he tries to convince himself that he has Seongwoo under his control, the truth is that the other has too much of a reign over him.

 

Maybe that is why he is here, playing Dance Dance Revolution with the lanky troublemaker.

 

“Ah, so Minhyunnie can’t dance,” Seongwoo chides when the big ‘D’ appears on Minhyun’s screen while Seongwoo gets himself the third ‘A’ of the afternoon.

 

“You’re a robot,” Seongwoo doesn’t stop with the teasing. “A stiff robot who doesn’t know his right from left.”

 

“Ya, let’s go again,” Minhyun grunts, slotting in another two coins for them to replay.

 

He’s going to wipe that smug look off Seongwoo’s face even if it means sweating it out in this abandoned arcade and blowing all his allowance on this stupid game.

  
  
  
  
  


“I got an ‘A’!”

 

“In your stupid face, Ong Seongwoo!”

 

He doesn’t even realise how happy he is until he catches a glimpse of his reflection. Minhyun hasn’t seen a smile this wide greet his face in forever. It doesn’t even feel like his own face anymore. He looks so… happy and carefree.

 

Minhyun realises he’s walked nicely into Ong Seongwoo’s trap.

 

“Did you take dance lessons before, Hwang Minhyun? You’re a quick learner.”

 

His first instinct is to glare at the smirk dancing on Seongwoo’s lips. Even now, Ong Seongwoo is annoying and Minhyun wants nothing more than to teach him a lesson to stop gloating.

 

But then, he finds himself smiling again.

 

“Two questions left. And my answer is no, I have never taken dance lessons in my life except for the time they made it compulsory in my previous high school. I twisted my ankle during the first lesson and had a cast for the rest of the month.”

 

The helpless expression on Seongwoo’s face is very worth the calories he danced off today.

  
  
  
  
  


Winning isn’t on Seongwoo’s agenda for today. It never has been. He’s not a competitive person but apparently his natural gaming skills have awakened the sleeping competitiveness inside Hwang Minhyun’s body, because he has never seen anyone as focused on Mario Kart as Minhyun right now.

 

“Did you just,” Minhyun sputters, unable to form the right words.

 

Even though Seongwoo has never been set on winning in petty games like this, it is too much fun to see the usual calm and silent Minhyun lose his demeanour over an arcade game.

 

“You blue-shelled me right before I reached the finished line.”

 

“That I did,” Seongwoo nods very seriously. “I take Mario Kart very seriously. There is no way you will be able to defeat me. I’m very sorry, Your Majesty.”

 

Minhyun exhales air through his nostrils sharply, clearly annoyed.

 

“Fourth question. Do you have any siblings?”

 

Minhyun leans back in the gaming chair, sighing. Seongwoo wonders if he is not going to answer his question.

 

“One older sister. She is studying in university right now. Fashion design.”

 

Seongwoo is more than pleased with this information. Though it may not seem like much, but he knows he is slowly cracking open Hwang Minhyun’s ice, cold prince heart. He much prefers this Minhyun - vulnerable and at ease. Seongwoo would have never guessed weeks ago that he would be the receiver of such personal information from the new delinquent in school.

 

“Can we play that horror game?”

 

Seongwoo doesn’t even realise it, but the small smile on Minhyun’s lips is enough for the realization to dawn upon him that he is not as great in real life games as compared to arcade games.

 

“Yes, we can,” Minhyun says, triumphantly. “And your questions card has officially been revoked.”

 

Seongwoo can’t help but slump against the seat as he watches Minhyun waltz away.

 

And maybe his heart beats a little faster.

 

In all the wrong ways.

 

Seongwoo ignores the strange feeling in his chest and follows Minhyun into the horror section, happy to see that Minhyun has already climbed into the scariest one in the corner, hidden by the spooky design around the machine.

 

Maybe shooting the heads off ugly zombies will take Seongwoo’s mind off this very strange feeling.

  
  
  
  
  


No. No, shooting the heads off zombies and having them run towards you does not take Seongwoo’s mind off a very, very attractive person next to him who is laughing heartily at himself getting jumpscared by bloody zombies.

 

The loosened tie and slightly crumpled uniform coupled with Minhyun’s slightly sweaty bangs is doing Seongwoo no good at all and his character falls to the floor, dead again for the second time in two minutes.

 

“How can you die so quickly?” Minhyun whines.

 

He’s completely into the game. This is the real Hwang Minhyun. The side he never shows to anyone and the side Seongwoo has the privilege of seeing. He’s not quite sure what he is feeling - but he thinks he finally understands what Daniel means when he says he wants to wax poetic lyrics about that freshman’s eyes, nose and lips and suddenly, all the love songs in the world make perfect sense to him.

 

“Wait, I’ll go to you,” Minhyun says, not paying attention to Seongwoo at all.

 

Love, it is a very strange thing. Seongwoo has never thought much about it.

 

Well… until now.

 

He wonders if it feels like this.

 

“I revived you!  _ Go, go, go _ ,” Minhyun encourages them, pushing the team forward but Seongwoo has long dropped the gun in his hands.

 

He wants to feel  _ that  _ again.

 

Before, he wasn’t sure how he’d felt about the kiss back in church. It was foreign and scary to submit to someone so easily when all his life, Seongwoo has been in control. He’d almost convinced himself that the kiss was a dream and that they would never actually do that in real life; much less with a boy.

 

He’s not stupid.

 

He’s never doubted that he actually likes girls.

 

Until Hwang Minhyun happened.

 

“Hey, move it,” Minhyun nudges Seongwoo hard. “What’s wrong?”

 

Seongwoo has to find out. He can suppress his curiosity for a lot of other things, but not this. Not when the kiss keeps him up at night and when even in his dreams, he sees Minhyun and his stupid face.

 

Minhyun doesn’t even move when Seongwoo leans closer, and places a hesitant kiss on his left cheek.

 

Slowly, he too drops the gun in his hand, not even caring about the loud sound it makes when it falls onto the floor, clattering. When Seongwoo removes his lips from Minhyun’s cheek, he starts to think that he’s made a grave mistake and he’s definitely going to hell for this but he just  _ can’t stop _ \- he wants more; a lot more.

 

Minhyun’s eyes flicker back and forth, and Seongwoo wonders what he’s going to do next.

 

The previous time, Minhyun had kissed him first.

 

It’s only fair for Seongwoo to return the favour.

 

Minhyun blinks, as if gauging Seongwoo’s reaction.

 

When it happens, it is much more deliberate, purposeful, and  _ intimate  _ than before. As if releasing all his pent up frustration from losing the games before, Minhyun kisses Seongwoo like he means every fibre of it - cupping Seongwoo’s face with his hands, and then moving, with only his lips, further and further into Seongwoo’s mouth.

 

While his mind is confused, Seongwoo knows that without a doubt, he likes kissing Hwang Minhyun so, so much.

 

_ Stop _ , he tells himself.

 

_ More _ , his heart demands.

 

_ Heaven  _ \- he finally understands.

  
  
  
  
  


Minhyun doesn’t even know the specifics of how it all happened. One moment he was blowing the heads off zombies with a laser gun and the next Seongwoo has him seated, thighs straddled over Minhyun’s own.

 

The first time it had happened, Minhyun had convinced himself it was all a dream.

 

The second time, Minhyun wonders if he is still stuck in the same dream - making out passionately with the school’s resident bad boy and the church’s favourite upright angel. All he really knows is that it is all he has ever wanted in his boring life. With ease, he submits and feels himself be swallowed by Seongwoo’s embrace. It is warm but comfortable, away from the eyes of the everyone else in the world.

 

_ I think I might like you. _

 

The thought itself is terrifying; both the thought of falling in love and falling in love with a boy that so happens to be Ong Seongwoo.

 

Seongwoo is relentless, as if he has been waiting for this very moment his whole life. He tugs at Minhyun’s already loose tie, bringing them even closer than ever before.

 

Suddenly, everything stops.

 

Seongwoo removes his lips from Minhyun’s.

 

_ Don’t leave me again. _

 

_ Please. _

 

“I won’t.”

 

Maybe the kissing did mess up Minhyun’s head a little because he has suddenly developed a habit of speaking his mind. It embarrasses him to no end, the action heating his cheeks up even more than before.

 

Seongwoo catches his breath softly through light pants, and Minhyun finds even that attractive.

 

“You wouldn’t surprise me if you do,” Minhyun finds himself talking first. “I think I could get used to you running away without an explanation.”

 

“You don’t understand,” Seongwoo replies, getting off Minhyun’s lap.

 

Thank God, he bites down on his tongue before he can whine from the loss of contact.

 

“I don’t understand a lot of things,” Minhyun says smartly. “Starting with  _ you _ . Then continued by making out with people and then pretending like it never happened.”

 

“I already said I wouldn’t leave,  _ Minhyun _ .”

 

Seongwoo’s tone is cold - not teasing, not even soft or gentle.

 

“What the fuck else do you want from me?” Seongwoo snaps.

 

Minhyun frowns, getting defensive even though he knows he shouldn’t be.

 

“Don’t you dare get mad at me for this.”

 

“I’m mad that you have the nerve to kiss me but don’t have the same courage to take responsibility for the consequences,” Seongwoo laughs bitterly.

 

“What does that even mean?”

 

“It means I’d rather you talk to me than yell at me for not staying and try to understand why I’m so fucking afraid to fall in love with you.”

 

Seongwoo darts out of the arcade, and Minhyun finally makes his decision to not be a coward for once and runs out after the other boy.

  
  
  
  
  


He’s terrified. Nothing about this set-up seems right yet it feels like Seongwoo has never felt more like himself in the past week. He wishes God would just arise from the waters and tell him what to do with his life next.

 

Or maybe even God has given up on him.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Trust Hwang Minhyun to come up with the most well thought out apology in the entire world. Sometimes, Seongwoo hates that Minhyun can be so straightforward with his words; not even bothering to sugar coat them just to make Seongwoo feel a little better.

 

Even his stance, poised with his hands in his pockets.

 

Cold and unapproachable.

 

How did Seongwoo ever fall so hard for him?

 

He plucks out the weeds from the ground to dissipate his anger.

 

At times like this, Seongwoo hates how emotional he can be. He wishes he could be cold too, not give a fuck about his relationships and brush the kisses off like they are nothing. It could happen to anyone, so why him? But he knows, _ he fucking knows _ , he’s already grown attached to this certain someone to the point where it pains him to see  _ him  _ go.

 

“Seongwoo, I’m sorry.”

 

A little better, but they can make improvements from here. Baby steps.

 

Right?

 

“Can you at least sit down so I can look at you?”

 

Minhyun shuffles to take a seat beside Seongwoo, still leaving a gap between their crossed legs.

 

“Listen- don’t interrupt me, okay? This is really important?”

 

Minhyun nods stiffly.

 

Seongwoo takes a deep breath.

 

“I don’t know what you’re expecting from me. If it’s to be like the couples you see on movies, I’m going to come clean and say I can’t do it. You can say what you want about me, but I’m not ready. I don’t know when I will be, either.  _ I’m sorry _ -”

 

“Seongwoo.”

 

“ _ Jesus _ , I knew you would interrupt me even though I told you not to,” Seongwoo buries his face into his hands, already exasperated. He cannot even begin to talk about how much Minhyun frustrates him, starting with his complete inability to listen to Seongwoo.

 

“I stopped you because you don’t have to say sorry to me.”

 

Minhyun slowly inches his palm over Seongwoo’s knee, and he shivers just from the mere touch. Instinctively, he looks around, scared to see anyone looking at them. There is no one; he’s just being paranoid.

 

“I also don’t know what you expect from me. If you are expecting me to be a gentleman you see in the dramas, I think I have proved I cannot do it. But I think I’m willing to try. Also, you don’t have to worry about not being ready because neither am I.”

 

Seongwoo wishes this were all a dream so he wouldn’t have to think about how his heart is about to jump out of his chest. But it is not, because Minhyun is still here, looking at him, waiting for his answer.

 

“I’ll try… too. I think.”

 

“That’s a good start,” Minhyun acknowledges, the faintest of smiles gracing his lips.

 

“Ah, this is weird,” Seongwoo finally cringes, but it is because he finally feels at ease. “I actually kind of like Hwang Minhyun?”

 

“You do?”

 

Minhyun can be really dense when he means to be.

 

Yet another thing Seongwoo can add to the list of things he cannot stand about Minhyun.

 

“Of- of course you do!” Minhyun quickly recovers after taking a look at Seongwoo’s exasperated reaction. “I mean, of course.  _ Yeah _ . You kissed me,  _ twice _ .”

 

At least he is a fast learner.

 

Seongwoo thinks that soon enough, he will be able to chuck away the list of things he doesn’t like about Minhyun and start making a new one of all the things he loves.

  
  
  
  
  


Keeping their secret a  _ secret  _ is harder than it seems. Harder because they practically have no time together alone because Seongwoo is followed around by his friends all the time - and that leaves Minhyun with no idea how to treat Seongwoo now that they are supposedly  _ dating _ .

 

Seongwoo does come to the chicken store sometimes, mostly to bother Minhyun and say that his handsome face will attract more customers. On days that Minhyun doesn’t work, he follows Seongwoo and his group of friends to the PC room or wherever they want to go for the day.

 

Sadly, the only time they get to see each other without the rest of the group is on Sundays. It is a shame because Seongwoo has that Sunday School persona on.

 

“Oh, you’re early again today,” Seongwoo smiles.

 

Minhyun likes his smile quite a lot.

 

“I brought you some homemade cookies,” Minhyun says, holding out a small box.

 

He’d stolen it from the kitchen; his mother had made it for the church ladies. It wouldn’t hurt for Minhyun to sneak out some of his own for Seongwoo. He isn’t sure if Seongwoo likes cookies. His heart sinks at the realization that his knowledge of Seongwoo is that of the mere surface.

 

“Oh. Wow. Thanks,” Seongwoo accepts it graciously, putting it into his bag.

 

“You aren’t going to try one?”

 

“I will,” Seongwoo promises. “ _ Later _ . Help me set up the chairs?”

 

Minhyun can’t say no. So he helps Seongwoo, arranging the chairs in a little circle he has seen been done before. It is, the least to say, suffocating to see Seongwoo like this - so dedicated at his work until he doesn’t even spare Minhyun a glance.

 

“What is your favourite food?” Minhyun asks.

 

Seongwoo lifts his head, finally. He looks almost surprised at Minhyun’s question.

 

“Ramen,” Seongwoo grins.

 

“Home-cooked?” Minhyun replies.

 

“Both home-cooked and restaurant made.”

 

“I make good ramen,” Minhyun says.

 

“I doubt it,” Seongwoo scrunches his nose. “You look like the type to overcook your noodles.”

 

Minhyun gasps, offended.

 

“I’ll make it for you one day,” Minhyun decides, preferring to prove his innocence through actions rather than words. It is all worth it in the sense that Seongwoo is a lot more smiley after that. That is when the rest of the church people start to stream into the room and crowd around Seongwoo, all eager to see their favourite boy after a week.

 

And Minhyun cannot help but understand them. He just hangs back and watches Seongwoo entertain all of them kindheartedly and animatedly.

  
  
  
  
  


“What did you think about today’s sharing?”

 

It is a question Minhyun has never thought he would be asked by Seongwoo, but apparently the other boy does still care about how Minhyun feels about this whole thing. He shrugs while helping Seongwoo to put the chairs back into place.

 

“It was okay,” Minhyun replies.

 

“You can be honest,” Seongwoo chuckles.

 

Minhyun’s shoulders droop. He doesn’t know how Seongwoo manages to see through him this easily.

 

“So I’ll really go to hell if I don’t believe in God?”

 

Seongwoo gulps, “Yeah. The easy answer is yes. I can go on and on about it-”

 

Minhyun considers that.

 

“Why? Are you afraid of hell?”

 

Minhyun shrugs, “Not really. I don’t even know what it’s like, so.”

 

“I tried the cookie earlier on, it was really nice. I like mine a little sweeter though, you made it?”

 

Minhyun tries not to think so much about how Seongwoo changes the topic so easily, but more on how Seongwoo is finally talking about the cookies.

 

“My mom,” Minhyun chuckles. “She always says it’s too sweet. I guess you have to live with the conflicting views.”

 

“I think we can make a compromise.”

 

Minhyun likes this Seongwoo a lot. He’s kind and has a big heart. Minhyun also kind of wants to pull him behind the curtains and make out with him while unbuttoning Seongwoo’s too-tight button up shirt because it sure is making himself feel a lot more uncomfortable.

 

Before Minhyun can even suggest the idea to Seongwoo, a guest peeks into the room.

 

“Oh. Hello, Seongwoo!”

 

Minhyun’s mother looks happy - she always looks the happiest on Sundays. This is why Minhyun couldn’t bring himself to stop coming (before the Seongwoo thing happened). He likes seeing his mother like this.

 

“I’m glad you’re hanging out with Minhyun. He rarely has friends over, you should come over one day! I’ll make some really good food for you,” she smiles.

 

Seongwoo beams back, bowing, “I’d be honoured to. Besides…”

 

He makes sure to look at Minhyun when he adds, “Minhyun’s a really good friend of mine.”

 

Minhyun can’t help but gulp nervously.

 

“It’s just so great to see Minhyun hanging out with someone and having fun, you know?”

 

“ _ Mom _ , I’m still here,” Minhyun protests weakly, not liking how his mother always paints him as an angsty teenager who has zero friends. He’s sure she’s over the moon when seeing her son hang out with Seongwoo; after all, all she sees is still Sunday School Seongwoo and Minhyun is going to make sure it stays that way.

 

“Come over one day, okay?” she gestures happily at Seongwoo.

 

“Come on, Hyun ah. We have to rush somewhere- say goodbye to Seongwoo and meet me outside.”

 

Minhyun pouts as soon as she is gone. He had been looking forward to spending a few extra minutes alone with Seongwoo but apparently those plans have gone to dust as well. Seongwoo though, with his quick eye, catches everything.

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Seongwoo chuckles, letting his fingers linger on top of Minhyun’s hand behind their backs.

 

Minhyun figures he can wait.

 

“Okay,” he nods obediently. “Bye then.”

 

Even though the moments they share are fleeting and discreet, Minhyun appreciates them; from the way he can still feel Seongwoo’s touch on his skin to the way Seongwoo’s goodbye smile lingers in his mind like a warm, summer breeze. 

  
  
  
  
  


Looking back, Seongwoo should have tried to learn more about Minhyun, understand him, and maybe even try to empathize with him. He’s so used to pushing the thought to the back of his mind - saying that Minhyun’s okay, they’re okay, they can take their baby steps.

 

He doesn’t see how Minhyun is still afraid, still hurting.

 

_ Blinded _ , he should call himself.

 

Not by love, but by mere foolishness.

 

He knows that their story cannot be a happy one, but at the very least he hopes it won’t be a tragedy.

 

“Hi, Mrs Lee!” he greets the always smiley lady; just like her son. It’s a busy night but his favourite server is nowhere to be seen. Seongwoo had barely managed to slip away from the claws of his friends at the PC room to see Minhyun just for a little while since their alone time had been cut short yesterday.

 

“Oh, Seongwoo ah,” she lights up at the sight. “Minhyun isn’t here.”

 

Before Seongwoo can even ponder over the fact that she knows that he is only here for Minhyun, he’s confused.

 

“I thought Minhyun worked till closing every Monday.”

 

“That’s true, but apparently an emergency came up. He said he had to leave quickly just a while ago when a group of men came up to him. I didn’t want to say much, but they didn’t look like his friends.”

 

Realization dawns upon Seongwoo belatedly as his heart sinks - knowing that something very bad has happened or will happen soon to Minhyun. He mumbles a goodbye, not wanting to scare Mrs Lee and rushes out of the chicken place.

 

He calls Minhyun’s phone to only hear that it has been shut off.

 

If they had left not too long ago, they would still be in the area.

 

And Seongwoo is going to find them.

  
  
  
  
  


“Ya, I said I wanted half of my money back by last week, Hyun ah.”

 

Another kick to his lower chest is delivered, swift and impactful. By now, he has suffered so much that he doesn’t feel the pain anymore. All that remains in the numb feeling in his heart and the prayers that this will be over soon.

 

“I said I got a job. You can’t possibly expect me to get you $50,000 so quickly, right?” Minhyun coughs, wiping the blood away from his nose.

 

A slap to his face; a  _ punishment  _ for trying to be smart.

 

“I don’t care what you need to do. Rob a bank or something. Whatever it is, I need the money back in my pocket by the end of the month or my head will get cut off from someone even bigger than I am. I’m not in the favour of bringing yours instead - so make sure I get the money soon enough.”

 

Everything is spinning, Minhyun is sure he’s probably gotten a concussion.

 

Even then,  _ his  _ voice is as clear to him as day.

 

“Minhyun?”

 

At the end of the dimly lit abandoned street, is Seongwoo in his uniform, staring at Minhyun get beat down by five others twice his size. 

 

The attention is quickly shifted to the intruder.

 

“Seong-”

 

Minhyun’s plea is shut down by Seongwoo’s clenched fist on the jaw of one of the men, followed by a muffled grunt when he stumbles backward, surprised by the power a seemingly innocent school boy possesses.

 

“ _ Fuck _ ,” he spits. “Who are you?”

 

“Leave him alone,” Seongwoo threatens, looking anything but intimidating in front of the suited men but Minhyun is in too much pain to tell him to stay away. Through the corner of his eye, he thinks he sees Seongwoo ducking a punch and then landing a kick on another’s rib cage area.

 

Though he is agile and smart, the men have strength in numbers and soon subdue Seongwoo immediately, throwing him to the ground beside Minhyun, who is still breathing heavily.

 

“Minhyunnie,” he scrambles to his feet, even though Minhyun is sure it hurts. “Are you okay?”

 

“‘m-  _ fine _ ,” he finally manages two words. Then he adds another two more, “Go away.”

 

Though Seongwoo’s eyes flash with hurt at the unexpected cold reaction from Minhyun, he does not back down. Instead, he fights back.

 

“I’m not leaving you behind.”

 

“A beautiful friendship,” a mocking tone interrupts Seongwoo, then a hand grabs him by his neck. “Since you chose to get involved in Minhyun’s business, I’ll hold you responsible if I don’t get my money back too.”

 

Seongwoo is flung to the side like a useless sheet of paper.

 

“Hyun ah, don’t forget- if you can’t pay the debts, I can always go to your mother.”

 

The threat is heard by Minhyun loud and clear.

 

“Two weeks,” Minhyun promises.

 

“You best be sure about that,” comes the voice before a black van shows up and they leave the scene before Minhyun can say anything in reply.

 

It takes him a while before he can convince himself to ignore the pain and stand up to check on Seongwoo, who is already sitting up and rubbing his jaw with his hand. Minhyun feels terrible, not knowing what he should say first.

 

Should he apologise, offer an explanation or thank Seongwoo for being here?

 

“You shouldn’t have,” Minhyun says.

 

Seongwoo glares at him, “Did you expect me to stand back and watch you take a beating? Do you expect me to be okay when you’re not?”

 

He crouches down to check on Seongwoo.

 

“Your handsome face is ruined.”

 

While it is not the best thing to say right now, it is the first thing that comes into Minhyun’s mind.

 

“Yours is no better,” Seongwoo snaps back, still clearly annoyed.

 

“I’m sorry,” Minhyun sighs, running his fingers through his hair, also frustrated with himself for bringing Seongwoo into this whole thing. It was the last thing he’d wanted for them; for Seongwoo to get hurt too.

 

“We should really see a doctor.”

 

“Seongwoo, I can’t waste any more money,” Minhyun’s tone is soft but stern. “But you definitely need to go to the hospital.”

 

Seongwoo stands up, pulling Minhyun up straight with him.

 

“I’m with you now,” Seongwoo decides. “You can come back with me. I have some things that you can take with you. Don’t you  _ dare  _ run away- I’ll call your mother.”

 

Minhyun purses his lips, unsure but gives in to Seongwoo in the end.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. PART FOUR

_ ♫  Seventeen - Troye Sivan  ♫ _

__

_ I went out looking for love when I was seventeen _

_ Maybe a little too young _

_ But it was real to me _

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Tell me, Hwang Minhyun. Do you like fighting so much?”

 

Seongwoo is angry - more at himself for seeing Minhyun like this than not knowing anything about what is going on with Minhyun. Thank God none of his parents are home; they are both working till late tonight so he brings Minhyun up to his room.

 

He doesn’t like how out of the three times Minhyun has been here, two are because he’s hurt himself.

 

“Not much,” Minhyun replies stiffly. “Just what is sufficient.”

 

Seongwoo scoffs at that.

 

But one look at Minhyun sitting on the edge of his bed, dirty and face quite bruised, he feels his annoyance dissipate.

 

“We should take a bath,” he suggests softly. “Then I’ll help you apply the medicine and you can help me too.”

 

“Oh,” Minhyun blinks. Then he nods, “Okay.”

 

Seongwoo chews on his lower lip, every cell in his body protesting against his next decision. But all he wants is to feel Minhyun close to him; be intimate with the person that he would give up many things in the world for. The Church would tell him that this is unbecoming - that maybe this is a sin, but Seongwoo starts to wonder if it is sinning if it is too good to be true.

 

His fingers linger on the hem of Minhyun’s shirt, as if hesitant.

 

Minhyun’s eyes give Seongwoo his answer.

 

Seongwoo grimaces as the lifting of Minhyun’s uniform reveals ugly and purple bruises, covering up the ones that were already recovering and almost invisible from weeks ago. He still takes the shirt off for Minhyun and starts on his own.

 

“You want to go in and check the temperature first? I already have the water running in the tub.”

 

“Okay,” Minhyun nods, disappearing behind the closed door of the bathroom.

 

Seongwoo takes a deep breath, hoping it will clear his mind and maybe even change it. But the temptation still does not go away. Soon he finds himself stripping; then hesitantly turning the knob on the bathroom door. He immediately lowers his gaze, slightly embarrassed at this new and unfamiliar experience.

 

Minhyun too, is bare and sitting in the tub already, the water filled up to his chest area.

 

He offers a weak smile to Seongwoo.

 

“I’ll wash your hair for you.”

 

Gladly, Seongwoo agrees and sinks himself into the tub - which he thanks God for being big enough to contain the both of them (who aren’t exactly the smallest people on earth either). He faces away from Minhyun, who shampoos his hair lightly, fingers treading into places Seongwoo wouldn’t ever have guessed he would have let anyone touch. He keens, leaning closer to Minhyun and finds himself submitting all of himself to the lukewarm water and Minhyun’s gentle touches.

  
  
  
  
  


Minhyun doesn’t know what to do at first.

 

He’s never been  _ this  _ intimate with anyone in his life.

 

Somehow, he finds that deep inside his heart, there is a dark place that has been locked away for a long time and Seongwoo somehow has the key to open it. It scares him that he has opened his heart to someone he barely knows anything about - but at the same time, strangely, he likes it.

 

It feels nice to finally have someone that he can feel like himself with.

 

Pain seers through his lip when the cotton bud grazes over it.

 

“Look up,” Seongwoo instructs.

 

He pouts, “You’re being mean.”

 

“If you can get hurt you can bear the consequences,” chides Seongwoo, but he does put a lot less strength into dabbing the medicine onto Minhyun’s lips and suddenly, when he looks at the boy who also has a botched lip and bruised cheek, he is sure that he has finally found  _ the one _ .

 

He grabs Seongwoo’s wrist.

 

“You-” he says. “Don’t you dare get hurt anymore.”

 

Seongwoo just glares at him, “It was your fault in the first place. If you didn’t get hurt, I wouldn’t have either.”

 

“I won’t anymore either, promise,” Minhyun says.

 

Seongwoo holds the eye contact for a few seconds before giving in, and nodding.

 

“Let’s switch places,” Minhyun says when Seongwoo is done with his own.

 

“I can do it on my own,” Seongwoo protests. “You probably don’t know how to handle it.”

 

Minhyun sets Seongwoo down on his own bed decisively in one swift action, snatching the cotton buds from Seongwoo’s hand and peers down at Seongwoo’s lips to get a better look.

 

“I know you can do a lot of things on your own. But now that you have me here, I can help you with all of those things.”

  
  
  
  
  


“Say it all. Everything, Minhyun.”

 

Seongwoo waits for Minhyun to say something; anything. He knows that this is not a matter to brush off, especially when Minhyun’s family, more specifically, his mother, has been brought into this twice. Minhyun stares up at the glow in the dark stickers on Seongwoo’s ceiling, and he finally speaks.

 

“It’s my dad’s debt. He left a huge debt from gambling. We barely managed to pick ourselves up. But my mother doesn’t know because she thinks that the gangsters are not coming after us anymore after I switched schools and she called the police.”

 

That’s why Minhyun had transferred to Seongwoo’s school in the middle of the school year.

 

“How much do you need?”

 

Minhyun’s breath hitches, “Seongwoo-”

 

“ _ How much _ , I asked you a question.”

 

Seongwoo does not fancy fucking around - not when Minhyun’s life is in danger and Seongwoo is the only one who is aware of all of this happening.

 

“One hundred…  _ thousand _ .”

 

“ _ God _ ,” Seongwoo doesn’t even try to conceal his frustration. “That’s a fuck lot, Minhyun.”

 

“I know,” Minhyun protests weakly.

 

“And you’re trying to pay it off with a mere fried chicken store part-time paying job?”

 

“What else could I do?  _ Actually rob a bank? _ ”

 

“Where is your dad now? Can’t you make a call to him? Ask him to take responsibility for putting his entire family in danger?”

 

Minhyun chuckles, “I wish we could make calls to hell.”

 

_ Oh _ .

 

Seongwoo clears his throat.

 

“He jumped when the pressure was getting too much. Right off the roof of our apartment. Suicide - that’s definitely a sin, right? He’s going to hell, right, Seongwoo?”

 

Now is not the time, not at all. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Seongwoo mumbles.

 

“You don’t have to be,” Minhyun shrugs. “He never did much for us anyway.”

 

Seongwoo decides that being angry at Minhyun is not going to help. Neither is lying around in bed and doing nothing. But he can see how much Minhyun is hurting; even if he doesn’t like showing it to the world.

 

He wraps his arm around Minhyun’s shoulder, resting Minhyun’s head on his own shoulder.

 

“You’ve suffered a lot,  _ Minhyunnie _ .”

 

Minhyun chuckles at his pet name, then chokes as the tears suddenly flow freely down his face.

 

“Was it that hard?” Seongwoo sighs, feeling emotions rise up in his chest as well when Minhyun’s lips tremble. “I’m sorry you had to go through all of it alone.”

 

It is painful to hear Minhyun sob - but more so when Seongwoo is reminded of all the times he’d let Minhyun face this world alone.

 

“You won’t be alone,” he promises. “Not anymore.”

  
  
  
  
  


When Minhyun leaves Seongwoo’s that night before his parents come home, Seongwoo sets to work immediately.

 

He thinks about how he should deal with this whole situation - the weekday way with his fists because that turned out wonderfully today, or the church way where he actually has a chance at making a difference in Minhyun’s life.

 

A few phone calls to important people are made, and when his parents return, he withholds all information about Minhyun to them and lays out a very different plan instead.

 

One with many flaws in between but will save a life.

  
  
  
  
  


The church is unbelievably crowded today.

 

Minhyun can’t believe it has to be today out of all the days the heavens could have chosen to send everyone in the country to this church but it makes it all the more suffocating and exhausting to get through. His only saving grace would be to see a certain church boy in his fake glasses run past.

 

“Hi, would you like to buy a cookie?” a young girl comes up to him and grins.

 

Minhyun sighs. Saying no would literally be akin to slapping her in the face so he relents. Anyway, it’s only a dollar. She thanks him and he ends up with a pack of three small cookies in his hand. Not wanting to spend anymore unnecessary money, Minhyun tiptoes, hoping to see a familiar face.

 

“Hello, my prince.”

 

Nobody except Minhyun knows that Seongwoo’s arms snake around his waist for a few seconds, but those are enough to satisfy Minhyun for the day.

 

“What’s going on? It’s so crowded in here,” Minhyun scrunches his nose distastefully at the crowd. “And I got guilt-tripped into buying a packet of cookies.”

 

“Perfect,” Seongwoo smiles. “The little girl works then.”

 

“What does that even mean?” Minhyun asks, narrowing his eyes.

 

“Come on,” Seongwoo leads him to the back of the church, where carnival rides and bouncy castles have been set up. The sides are lined up with food trucks and people selling accessories. Apparently, the crowd loves it.

 

“My mother didn’t tell me this was happening.”

 

“Oh. It was a last minute decision,” Seongwoo says casually. “You can sit out if you don’t want to spend money, or come around with me selling more tickets.”

 

While Minhyun does not fancy tiring himself out even more (he’s worked more full shifts this entire week than any other week) but he thinks about how he and Seongwoo would make a power duo and willingly gets off his ass and a few tickets out of Seongwoo’s hand.

 

“Shall we make a bet? See who sells more?” Minhyun hums as he splits the tickets equally between both of them.

 

Seongwoo chuckles, already shaking his head.

 

“You think you can beat me -  _ The Ong Seongwoo?  _ The boy all the mothers in here want their sons to become and their daughters to marry?”

 

Minhyun frowns. Seongwoo is right.

 

But on the other hand.

 

“What do you think I use this face best for?” Minhyun fights back.

 

“Sure,” Seongwoo pats Minhyun’s cheek more condescendingly than affectionately. “I’ll see you in three hours back here when the events end.”

 

“What are we betting on?” Seongwoo asks.

 

Minhyun thinks hard about what he wants - he really has no qualms about whether he can win this competition because he  _ will _ . He will beat Ong Seongwoo fair and square.

 

Seongwoo seems to have an idea, because he leans into Minhyun’s ear and whispers.

 

“If you win, I’ll let you make out with me - right here, in the chapel.”

 

He’s positive his face heats up immediately; his ears are probably a bright red now as well.

 

“You’re a church boy,” Minhyun hisses back.

 

“I like living on the edge,” Seongwoo shrugs. “Your turn.”

 

“Fucking heathen,” Minhyun mumbles under his breath.

 

“This is a sacred place-  _ watch your language _ ,” Seongwoo chides, as if he wasn’t the one who had suggested for them to suck face in this same place.

 

Minhyun shrugs, “I can’t think of one. Just think of it as you’ll owe me a wish.”

 

Seongwoo seems satisfied with his answer.

 

“See you in three hours then. Don’t miss me too much.”

 

Seeing him walk away with a light prance in his steps, Minhyun has already begun missing Ong Seongwoo.

  
  
  
  
  


Four hours later when the event has long ended and even the pack-up team has gone home, Minhyun meets Seongwoo back in the now strangely empty chapel with heavy steps.

 

He’s met with a knowing grin, and empty palms.

 

“It takes years of practice,” Seongwoo is practically glowing at the pile of tickets still left in Minhyun’s hands. “To be everyone’s favourite church boy. You wouldn’t have beat me- not in a million years.”

 

Though Seongwoo is so painfully right, Minhyun still huffs at the unsold tickets in his own hands.

 

“Mothers fawn over me like I’m one of their own, fathers want to introduce me to their kids-”

 

“I get it, I get it,” Minhyun sighs, massaging his temples. “What do you want?”

 

Seongwoo crosses his arms, a smile threatening to tear his lips apart.

 

“Close your eyes.”

 

“What-”

 

“Close your eyes and hold out your hands, I have a surprise for you.”

 

Minhyun doesn’t particularly like surprises but as long as it is from Ong Seongwoo, he thinks he can try to put up with it. Closing his eyes, he waits.

 

“Don’t peek,” warns Seongwoo.

 

He shuts his eyes tight just to prove he’s not a cheater.

 

Flinching a little when something is placed into his hands, Seongwoo orders him to open his eyes before he can try to figure out what it is. A bit heavy, but feels a but like paper as well.

 

A nice, grey envelope sits in his palms.

 

“What is this?”

 

Seongwoo encourages him eagerly, “Open it.”

 

Minhyun turns over the unsealed envelope and peeks in. His heart almost stops. Not believing it, he looks up at Seongwoo, who just gives him the same blinding smile.

 

“Seongwoo- I can’t take this.”

 

Seongwoo pushes the envelope back into Minhyun’s embrace.

 

“Please take it. Church people are generous, I didn’t have too much of a hard time convincing them to spend a bit of money. You on the other hand…” Seongwoo smiles sadly at Minhyun. “I know how much you need it. It’s not everything, but enough to cover you until I find another way-”

 

“It’s wrong,” Minhyun’s eyes bubble with tears. “You can’t do this for me.”

 

“They won’t even realise where it’s going to,” Seongwoo insists. “All I told them was that it would be for a good cause. You can pay me back slowly, at least I won’t threaten you every now and then.”

 

Minhyun cannot wrap his head around why Seongwoo would risk sacrificing everything he has - his reputation, his friends and family, or even his  _ faith  _ for Minhyun.

 

“I want you to have it,” Seongwoo says again. “I don’t want you to get hurt again,  _ ever _ .”

 

Minhyun nods, and stuffs the envelope in his bag.

 

“I just-” he stutters through his words, completely stripped of the ability to form his words in front of Seongwoo. “I think I-  _ like you _ . A lot.”

 

Seongwoo blinks, confused for a few seconds.

 

“Me too, Minhyunnie,” he replies.

 

No, Seongwoo doesn’t understand. Minhyun likes Seongwoo so much his heart  _ aches  _ for him.

 

“I know I lost the bet,” Minhyun cups Seongwoo’s face in his hands. “But I’m going to claim my prize anyway.”

 

“It is yours as much as it is mine,” Seongwoo promises him before Minhyun kisses him in the middle of the wood plated floor and stained glass of the sacred chapel along with the large cross looking upon them as it hangs high up on the wall.

  
  
  
  
  


It is the first time in his life Seongwoo thinks he has committed such a huge sin. Given that he has involved himself in fighting, got addicted to smoking and isn’t the nicest person on earth, he had thought that going to church would make him a little better.

 

And for a little while, it did.

 

He found himself believing in the stories that he would soon come to preach on his own. He even found himself wanting to be a better person for God, wanting to do good for the world.

 

But now, with almost 50,000 squandered away from innocent people’s money that he makes sure goes straight into Minhyun’s pocket, Seongwoo wonders if going to church from now on would make him a hypocrite.

 

Maybe it isn’t just about the money.

 

It is about how his hands are under Minhyun’s shirt, whispering hushed,  _ “I’m sorry” _ s into Minhyun’s ear when he accidentally presses his fingers too hard on the bruises he cannot see, and the same breathy pants from Minhyun, saying,  _ “I’m okay, keep going” _ when Seongwoo realises how much of hell he will see in his afterlife.

 

Believing isn’t enough anymore when he asks Minhyun to do more even when in the corner of his eye, he sees the pastor walking towards the chapel from the outside through the stained glass.

 

He pushes Minhyun down, hiding them both behind the podium when the chapel doors swing open.

 

Seongwoo’s heartbeat beats loudly in his ears, cancelling out every other background noise - terrified at the thought of being caught.

 

The pastor closes the door, locks it and finally, Seongwoo’s legs give out and he lies down on the floor of the stage.

 

Minhyun smiles affectionately and plants a kiss on Seongwoo’s forehead.

 

“Thank you. I won’t forget this, I promise.”

 

“I know you won’t,” Seongwoo replies. “Let me catch my breath and then we’ll get out of here. I know a secret way.”

 

“Can’t stand the pressure?” Minhyun teases, poking Seongwoo’s tummy, then laughing when he rolls away.

 

“Ya,” Seongwoo whines. “I’m just being considerate to you - you would totally go crazy if I let you kiss me any more.”

 

‘Appreciate it,” Minhyun replies back sarcastically.

 

Yet, when their laughters harmonize and echo in the empty chapel, Seongwoo learns that simply believing isn’t enough anymore.

 

Seeing is believing.

 

And yet - he sees only two things.

 

Heaven; and Hwang Minhyun.

 

Both of which he has experienced at the same time today.

  
  
  
  
  


Minhyun thinks that he has underestimated how close his mother has gotten with Seongwoo’s parents. And while he has been spending a lot more time with their son behind their backs, it is nothing compared to the shock he gets when his mother tells him to put on some nice clothes because Seongwoo’s parents have invited them over for dinner that night.

 

It is more than awkward to face Seongwoo in front of the family, especially when they expect the two to be the best of friends.

 

“Hi, Minhyun. And of course, Mrs Hwang.”

 

He looks dashing tonight - a nice black cardigan over his signature blue button up shirt. It almost couples Minhyun’s look for tonight with his black shirt and blue jeans.

 

He even has to pretend like he hasn’t been to Seongwoo’s house before.

 

“Seongwoo, you should show Minhyun your room,” his parents suggest while they start conversing with his mother while setting the table. He almost laughs; they’re treating him and Seongwoo like five-year-old kids. But he does appreciate the short pockets of time he gets alone with Seongwoo after that.

 

Minhyun nudges Seongwoo hard when he closes the door behind them.

 

“You didn’t tell me this was happening?”

 

Seongwoo crosses his arms, looking pouty, “I wanted it to be a surprise, couldn’t you tell?”

 

“It is a nice surprise,” Minhyun muses, arranging the soft toys on Seongwoo’s bed nicely together. “Though I don’t know how your parents would react if they knew that I’ve been here before.  _ Three times _ , to be exact.”

 

“Shh,” Seongwoo shushes him, placing a finger on Minhyun’s lips. “That’s our secret.”

 

“I think we have too many secrets between us.”

 

The knowing smile that Seongwoo shoots Minhyun is enough to keep him silent for the whole dinner after that.

 

Even when Seongwoo’s parents give him the kindest smile when they ask him, “So, do you have any girls in church that you find pretty?”

 

His mother even winks at him, “They’re all wonderful people. I could introduce you to some of them if you wanted. You’re so handsome, I’m sure girls are fawning all over you anyway.”

 

Minhyun feels sick inside when they say that. The steak on his plate suddenly doesn’t look as appetizing as before when he catches Seongwoo gazing onto the floor as Minhyun tries his best to steer away from such questions. What would Seongwoo’s parents say; had they known Minhyun would never look at anyone again after seeing their son?

 

“I’m not exactly… looking for anyone right now,” Minhyun bows respectfully anyway.

 

His mother ruffles his hair gently, “Minhyun has always been shy around girls. I’m sure Seongwoo could teach him a thing or two, seeing how all the girls love him in church!”

 

They all explode into humorous laughter despite two people knowing that they aren’t actually laughing.

 

That night is the night Minhyun realises the graveness of the situation:

 

How badly he has fallen for Ong Seongwoo and how impossible it is for them to be together.

  
  
  
  
  


“Say, you aren’t  _ dating  _ Minhyun or anything like that, right?”

 

Seongwoo promptly chokes on thin air, until Sungwoon has to slap his back hard to get him to stop. Even though he often jokes that Sungwoon is a tiny man - he now learns to never underestimate the strength can possess. He will never make fun of Sungwoon’s size ever again.

 

“Why would I be?” Seongwoo says when he recovers, making sure to cover it up with a grin.

 

Sungwoon shrugs, directing his gaze to Minhyun who is still hanging out with Kang Dongho’s gang near the field. He’s sure Minhyun is being coerced into doing shady things but he trusts that he is smart enough to not involve himself in anything too illegal.

 

“I don’t know. You two seem to spend a lot of time together for someone that hated you a lot at the start,” Sungwoon replies casually, extinguishing the cigarette in his hand.

 

“You’re right,” Sungwoon laughs emptily after a while. “You would tell me if you two were dating after all. Or at least, if you liked boys-  _ right _ ? I know you’re still doing that Church thing on Sundays.”

 

Seongwoo gulps nervously. Sungwoon has the instincts of a wolf in winter - not only does he have to tread lightly around him, he also has to cover up any trace of his tracks.

 

“But I would support you,” Sungwoon adds. “You know  _ me _ , right? You support Daniel, right?”

 

Right. Daniel and that freshman. Seongwoo has been so out of this friendship loop that he’s even unsure of the progress of his friend’s pursue towards the freshman that will never say yes to him. The last he’d heard of them was that Daniel had finally gotten the freshman’s number after weeks of chasing.

 

Daniel is so pathetic.

 

Seongwoo wishes he could be like him.

 

If only he could proudly confess his love to the person that he likes to the entire world.

 

“Thanks, Sungwoon. That means a lot to me.”

 

“Sure.”

 

Yet Seongwoo is stuck here, exchanging fleeting glances with the love of his life from across the field and diverting their gazes immediately after they meet - lest anyone else sees.

  
  
  
  
  


“Hyun ah, can we talk?”

 

Minhyun’s heart sinks. His family is still like every other family and he still gets the butterflies (not the good ones) when his mother calls him over without any additional explanation. He shuffles out of his room and sits in the kitchen where his mother is waiting.

 

Could it be that the gangsters have found her?   
  


They promised to hold off for a few more weeks after Minhyun had handed them half of the amount Seongwoo had given to him.

 

“I know this may seem sudden but I just want to tell you… I think I’m believing in things again. More specifically, God.”

 

Oh.

 

His mother rubs her thumb lovingly over Minhyun’s palm, “Going to church really helped me come out of my shell. The ladies there are so nice and accepting. I think I’m finally happy, Hyun ah.”

 

“I’m… happy for you, mum.”

 

She lights up, and Minhyun is positive he’s never seen her happier.

 

“Really? I was afraid you wouldn’t-”

 

“Mum,  _ I’m fine _ . I didn’t like the church at first,” Minhyun hesitates before saying his next line. “But I’ve met amazing people there and although I still need some time to adjust, I’m happy for you, really.”

 

He really, truly, from the bottom of his heart, is over the moon for her.

 

Religion - maybe it is not something he believes in. But he has seen how the belief has shaped the most important people in his life into the wonderful people that they are today. Minhyun has no doubt that, it must be magical to have something to believe in.

 

He wishes nothing but the best for people who do.

 

“Also, the ladies asked me if I wanted to fly over to Busan this weekend and visit one of the orphanages that the church is currently sponsoring. At first, I said no; I didn’t want to leave you alone at home but Seongwoo’s parents volunteered to take you in for the weekend.”

 

She looks so excited, Minhyun can’t help but mirror her feelings.

 

“Really?” he almost cannot believe his ears. “They said that?”

 

“They love you so much, Minhyun. It’s just a short two nights, I’ll be back on Sunday night. If you’re uncomfortable, I’ll stay and-”

 

“Mum,  _ go _ . I would love for you to go and do what you want to.”

 

Without warning, she envelopes him in one of her  _ mum hugs _ .

 

Mum hugs - Minhyun loves those the most.

 

“I love you so much, Hyun ah.”

 

“Me too, I love you so much too.”

 

She wipes her tears, sniffing, “Should we call Soojin to tell her how well we’re doing?”

 

“Ah, you know she’s busy,” Minhyun sighs, then decides they can indulge, for at least a day, “But you know what, let’s just call her. She should make time for her family, right?”

  
  
  
  
  


“So, I heard.”

 

“Good afternoon to you too, sweetheart,” Seongwoo crosses his arms, and even though it is dark in the janitor’s closet, Minhyun can see the pout on his face.

 

“You are the one who asked me into the stuffy place,” Minhyun’s nose is already starting to itch at the amount of dust in here.

 

Still, it is way better than sitting in math class.

 

“I’m not going to argue with you first thing in the afternoon,” Seongwoo scoffs, rolling his eyes at the same time.

 

“Just give me a kiss and I’ll let you off.”

 

Minhyun can hardly believe his ears. Ong Seongwoo is such a brat.

 

_ My brat _ , Minhyun thinks affectionately before pressing a chaste kiss onto Seongwoo’s lips.

 

“Good afternoon,” Minhyun mumbles but humours Seongwoo anyway. “To what do I owe this humble request for my attendance in this wonderful venue?”

 

“I’m here to claim my prize.”

 

Minhyun blinks for a few moments before he actually realizes what Seongwoo is getting at. The bet that they had made around two weeks ago about who could sell the most tickets, of course. Seongwoo had won by a longshot, being everyone’s favourite little nerd. (Minhyun still can’t accept his loss.)

 

“Well, let’s hear it.”

 

Seongwoo tiptoes to whisper his wish into Minhyun’s ear.

 

“Really?” his eyes bulge out at Seongwoo’s request.

 

He nods earnestly in return, “Yeah. Why, surprised?”

 

“ _ Pleasantly _ ,” Minhyun admits way too quickly. He quickly dips his head down shyly, “But hey, I haven’t ever-”

 

“I know,” Seongwoo cups Minhyun’s face in his hands, assuring him with his warm smile. “Me too. But I trust you. You trust me too, right?”

 

Minhyun nods, his heart racing.

 

“Indefinitely.”

  
  
  
  
  


Minhyun’s mother bids him a tearful goodbye at the airport, and he tears up even though he chides her, saying that she’s only going to be gone for three days not three years. It is the first time in a while, if not the first time, that they are being seperated.

 

Still, she’s never looked more alive and like herself than when she follows the other church ladies into the check-in area.

 

Seongwoo’s parents drive them home when the sun has already set.

 

They’re so excruciatingly nice, it makes the stay so much more guilty, especially when Seongwoo squeezes his thigh discreetly during their dinner. The kimchi soup that Seongwoo’s mother whips out is delicious, but not more than the taste of the sweet dessert Minhyun cannot remember the name of when he captures Seongwoo’s lips in his at midnight.

 

“My parents are going to hear,” Seongwoo pants when Minhyun moves down to kiss his jaw, unable to control the desire in him anymore.

 

“Wet blanket,” Minhyun mutters against his soft skin, but respects the emergency sirens going off in Seongwoo’s head and pulls down the hem of Seongwoo’s shirt, concealing the small amount of skin that had been exposed when his shirt had ridden up in the heat of the moment earlier.

 

Minhyun moves to go to sleep on the mattress that Seongwoo’s parents have set out on the floor for him, until Seongwoo catches his wrist and says, “Hey, sleep here.”

 

Minhyun purses his lips, “Your parents might see us in the morning.”

 

That wouldn’t be good; not at all.

 

Seongwoo slips out of bed and walks over to lock his bedroom door softly.

 

“There,” he smiles. “Now, can you come and snuggle next to me?”

 

Minhyun obliges, cuddling under the warm blankets and unconsciously smiling when he faces Seongwoo. It feels surreal that they’re actually here, in the same bed, not doing anything except merely appreciating each other’s presence.

 

Seongwoo reaches out his hands to brush Minhyun’s bangs out of his face.

 

“Hwang Minhyun, you’re so pretty.”

 

“You’re prettier,” Minhyun replies without missing a beat, as if he has already been programmed to say such things back to the other.

 

“Let’s sleep,” Seongwoo decides. “We have a long day tomorrow.”

 

That night, Minhyun learns that Seongwoo is a very peaceful sleeper. He moves about rarely, but the one time he does; snatching the blanket away from Minhyun, he wakes up and rearranges the covers so that Seongwoo is comfortable. The only sounds in the room is Seongwoo’s light breaths and it makes something bloom in Minhyun’s heart.

 

Something not very nice.

 

He decides to push it to the back of his mind, sneak a kiss onto Seongwoo’s forehead and try to fall back asleep.

  
  
  
  
  


Saturday afternoon is boring, to say the least. Seongwoo apparently has errands to run for his parents, and is out of the house for most of the time. Minhyun stands around until Seongwoo’s mother asks if he would like to help make dinner for tonight.

 

“Two servings are enough,” she instructs him.

 

“Two?” he echoes, throwing pork slices into the soup that she is preparing for tonight.

 

“Seongwoo’s dad and I are going out tonight for a dinner. Seongwoo didn’t tell you?”

 

Minhyun shakes his head, “No. No, he didn’t.”

 

“He’s always like that, so forgetful.”

 

“I know right,” Minhyun laughs along.

 

It’s so natural, it doesn’t even occur to him that it might sound a little too much as Seongwoo’s friend. Thankfully, Seongwoo’s mother only freezes for a second, then shakes her head as if pushing away a thought and smiles at Minhyun.

 

He’s going to make sure not to make a mistake like that again.

 

“You’re a natural in the kitchen.”

 

“I helped my mother a lot from when I was young,” Minhyun says proudly.

 

“Ah, you’d make a great husband then. Look at mine, sleeping on the couch right now,” she grumbles.

 

And Minhyun gets that nasty feeling again- the one from the night before. The feeling that tells him that everything he has is going to get taken away from him eventually; and that there is no running away from it.

 

“I’ll try my best,” Minhyun promises.

 

He makes a silent promise to Seongwoo’s mother:

 

_ I’ll be the best husband for your son- _

 

_ -so can’t you consider me? _

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. PART FIVE

_ ♫ Don’t Forget - IKON ♫  _

__

_ Whispering promises and staying up all night _

_ I hope you remember it all on that day _

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Bye,” Seongwoo waves goodbye to his parents, who are dressed nicely for the dinner occasion that they are going for: also known as the few strings Seongwoo has pulled to make tonight perfect for him and Minhyun.

 

Minhyun is fidgety in the living room.

 

“Did you have fun today?” he asks.

 

Minhyun says, “Your mum was nice.”

 

“You’re not answering the question.”

 

“Can we just eat?”

 

Minhyun is pretty silent for the most of the meal; which is not really anything out of the ordinary for Seongwoo. He just waits for Minhyun to say something, say anything. He can see through Minhyun like a piece of glass right now - he’s nervous and frightened to say something.

 

“The food is nice, did you make it?” Seongwoo asks, trying to ease the tension.

 

“I helped,” Minhyun offers a short but genuine answer.

 

They wash the plates together, Seongwoo soaping the dishes and Minhyun rising it off. They make a great team. He’s about to suggest watching a movie when Minhyun grabs his wrist, “Seongwoo, I don’t want to disappoint you.”

 

“What are you talking about,” Seongwoo laughs. “You’ve never disappointed me.”

 

“I don’t know- if I’ll ever be good enough for you.”

 

His heart almost breaks; because how can The Hwang Minhyun ever think that he will never be enough for Ong Seongwoo? Minhyun’s everything, Seongwoo swears, that he’s ever wanted.

 

“Minhyun, please,” Seongwoo protests weakly.

 

“ _ You’re so _ \- sure of yourself. Confident, charismatic and everything I don’t deserve.”

 

Seongwoo grabs Minhyun’s hands, “Minhyunnie, don’t you dare say that. You know I would never think of you that way.”

 

He hugs Minhyun, arms wrapping around Minhyun’s slim waist and takes in his homely scent. Seongwoo commits it to memory;  _ just in case _ .

 

Minhyun finally sighs, “I’m sorry. That was just me being dumb.”

 

Seongwoo likes this Minhyun more than the cold and unapproachable Minhyun more. He appreciates when Minhyun is comfortable enough to feel vulnerable around him.

 

“Should we watch a movie?” he pats Minhyun’s back gently.

 

Minhyun nods against his shoulder, whispering, “In your room, please.”

  
  
  
  
  


When they’ve both washed up and are pressed together in Seongwoo’s bed watching some movie Minhyun has long forgotten the name of, he looks up at Seongwoo, who is very focused on the show, “So, your parents are out.”

 

A knowing smile creeps onto Seongwoo’s lips when he realises Minhyun’s indication.

 

“You remembered?” he threads his fingers through Minhyun’s hair lovingly.

 

“Course I did,” Minhyun says. “I even did research.”

 

Seongwoo laughs out loud obnoxiously, pausing the show and moving the laptop away from his bed.

 

_ “You watched porn?” _

 

Minhyun shifts uncomfortably in his position.

 

“Well,  _ yeah _ .”

 

“Was it your first time?” Seongwoo probes.

 

“No,” Minhyun replies indignantly when Seongwoo waves a accusing finger at him. “I mean, is it not normal! I didn’t watch it often-  _ you know, _ I was just curious.”

 

He’s rambling again - he does that a lot when he’s embarrassed and thank God Seongwoo knows all about that. Minhyun crosses his arms, “I bet you haven’t, church boy.”

 

“I’m a growing boy with needs!” Seongwoo protests, now his turn to feel shy in front of Minhyun.

 

“Fine,” Minhyun exhales loudly. “What now?”

 

Seongwoo scratches his head, also unsure.

 

“Just… come here. Kiss me.”

 

Minhyun takes Seongwoo into his arms, starting to kiss his favourite lips in the entire world. His heart starts to beat a little too fast; they’ve never done anything more than kissing,  _ ever _ . Taking it to a whole new level scares the shit out of Minhyun but he’s just trying to conceal his nervousness.

 

“Are you sure?” Minhyun makes sure to check.

 

“Yes, please,” Seongwoo replies.

 

He lays Seongwoo down on the bed and undresses him slowly.

 

“You’re beautiful,” he punctuates with kisses onto Seongwoo’s neck, collar bones, chest, and even his cute little tummy. Minhyun wishes he could keep physical pictures of every part of Seongwoo; just in case he won’t get to see it for himself in the future.

 

His movements are clumsy but Seongwoo doesn’t seem to mind.

 

Everything about the man beneath Minhyun is beautiful. He wishes they never have to end. Together with his crazily beating heart and shaking hands, Minhyun makes love to the love of his life. It is a feeling like never before; and the way Seongwoo never looks away from Minhyun drives him crazy with greed and want to have Seongwoo as his forever.

 

It is that night that Minhyun realises that the prettiest stars are not the ones in the sky, nor the glow-in-the-dark ones on Seongwoo’s bedroom ceiling, but the ones that litter Seongwoo’s cheeks unlike any other constellations that have been discovered before.

  
  
  
  
  


_ Make all of me yours tonight. _

 

Seongwoo is glad he is good at making bets - but winning any other one will never compare to this.

 

It is the most sinful request that Seongwoo has made in his entire life; yet he has never felt like he’s wanted anything more. When the sweat drips down his forehead and unfamiliar lustful moans escape his lips like a language he’s never spoken in his life, Seongwoo knows that he will never be able to return to the way that he was before.

 

Though they move clumsily and desperately, both befitting of their first time, Seongwoo doesn’t mind. Not even one bit. 

 

Everything feels right, so right.

 

“Baby,” Minhyun’s voice is muffled when he buries his face into Seongwoo’s shoulder for support.

 

Goosebumps rise when the pet name enters Seongwoo’s ears.

 

“Yeah?” he barely manages to form a coherent answer.

 

He traces Minhyun’s cheek with his thumb, memorizing the way his cheeks rise when he smiles and the way he looks at Seongwoo with nothing but love in his eyes. Minhyun always makes him feel like he is  _ enough _ .

 

The angel on his left shoulder is yelling at him:  _ what are you doing, you know this is sin, this is unbecoming of God’s child, stop right this instant. _

 

The devil on his right is laughing gleefully,  _ cackling _ , to be exact:  _ yes, give in to your biggest temptations, this isn’t sin, you just have to experience this once in your life. _

 

“I love you.”

 

_ He’s lying - he just wants to shake your belief, pray Seongwoo, pray, you can still be forgiven. _

 

_ He’s telling the truth - give in to him, come to my side, surrender your faith, Seongwoo. _

 

Seongwoo’s fingers tighten around Minhyun’s back, hanging onto the other boy like nothing else is giving him the will to live. Minhyun gives him the oxygen, and Seongwoo breathes it in like he needs it to survive.

 

“I love you too,” his lips say before they come to crash with Minhyun’s again.

 

Then, there are no voices anymore.

 

Just the sound of his beating heart.

 

And it is telling him that everything is going to be okay if he is with Minhyun.

  
  
  
  
  


Minhyun wonders how a first meeting could have gone so right, yet so wrong.

 

It was a cloudy day, and the grey clouds mirrored his angry soul. He didn’t expect anything at this new school, it was just another addition to his already fucked up life. So when a particularly annoying comment had ticked him off that morning- in addition, coming from the sleazy and slightly attractive looking obvious school delinquent in the corner, Minhyun was ready to make him a thing of the past.

 

Yet.

 

_ Yet _ .

 

Things happened. Many things happened after the first meeting. The second, the third and even the fourth were not of mere coincidence but rather, he likes the believe, fate. Ong Seongwoo was relentless in his attempts to get close to Minhyun.

 

Minhyun never stood a chance.

 

He was bound to fall even before their meeting had been decided by whatever higher power.

  
  
  
  
  


Seongwoo stirs when the familiar smell of fried chicken whiffs into his nose. He shuts his eyes, the events from yesterday still lingering in his mind. He’s afraid that if he opens his eyes, it will all be a dream. A very long dream that he has been dreaming - from seeing Hwang Minhyun to the first day to losing his very first time to the boy with the foxy features and blinding smile.

 

“Wake up, sleepyhead.”

 

Ah, there it is.

 

Seongwoo opens one eye to peek at the owner of the voice, and is pleased to find Minhyun sitting at the edge of his bed in a sleeveless shirt. Though Seongwoo has seen so much more, it still brings heat to his cheeks to see Minhyun is such an exposed shirt.

 

“You’re awake already?”

 

“I’m an early bird by habit,” Minhyun laughs heartily. “I’ve been up since eight.”

 

“Is that breakfast?” Seongwoo wrinkles his nose in the direction of the lovely smell.

 

“Lunch,” Minhyun corrects him. “You slept like a log and completely missed breakfast.”

 

God, it’s already one in the afternoon. Did Seongwoo really pass out?

 

“Your parents are going to come up soon if you don’t make an appearance soon, they think I murdered you last night or something. Go brush your teeth and come downstairs, okay?”

 

Before Seongwoo can mutter something under his breath like, “you might as well have” he slides his legs off the bed and  _ oh my god if you asked him about this he would swear over his life it never happened _ , but his legs turn to jelly when they touch the floor and he tries to stand, toppling over and holding onto Minhyun for support instead.

 

“Oh my god,” Minhyun grins.

 

“Do not use the lord’s name in vain,” Seongwoo chides him. And he tsks at the hand around his waist, “Get your naughty hands off me, Hwang Minhyun.”

 

“Fine,” Minhyun rolls his eyes. “Then prove to me you can walk to the bathroom without limping.”

 

“I can do just fine,” Seongwoo challenges.

 

Fine in Seongwoo’s book means he can try to conceal the pain in his entire body but his face gives everything away. 

 

He sees Minhyun staring at him from the bed, already smirking.

 

“This is not good for your already large ego,” Seongwoo realises belatedly.

 

“Do you want my help or not?”

 

“I’m an independent man!” Seongwoo snaps back.

 

Minhyun walks over to support Seongwoo anyway.

 

“Please,” he begs. “Try your best to not look like I absolutely destroyed you last night in front of your parents during lunch later. It’s not an impression I like to leave on the adults.”

 

Seongwoo tries making a swing at Minhyun but fails when the other ducks easily, resulting in Seongwoo tripping over his own feet and Minhyun catching him just before he face plants into the floor and destroys his beautiful face.

  
  
  
  
  


Lunch is an awkward affair.

 

Minhyun helps Seongwoo across the room into his chair when his parents aren’t looking in their direction. Thank God, they don’t seem to realise that anything is off during lunch, neither do they ask any weird questions. They even send Minhyun to the airport to pick up his mother, which he is eternally grateful for.

 

Minhyun’s mother looks like a different person when she returns.

 

No doubt she has the same face, same clothes, and even the same way of hugging Minhyun, there is something about her smile that tells Minhyun that this overseas trip has done her a lot of good.

 

“How was Minhyun?” she directs her questions to Seongwoo’s parents, choosing to thoroughly embarrass Minhyun instead.

 

“He was the nicest boy,” Seongwoo’s father replies.

 

“Even helped with the dishes and all,” Seongwoo’s mother adds, beaming.

 

Seongwoo just gives Minhyun a crooked smile.

 

Ruffling his hair, Minhyun’s mother thanks them for taking care of Minhyun. And while he waves goodbye politely to Seongwoo’s parents, the boy pulls him in for a tight hug, right in front of their families.

 

The hug should be strictly platonic, a hug between best friends.

 

At least that is what Minhyun hopes their families see.

 

To him, it is a reminder of the past two nights. How he had fallen deeper and deeper for Seongwoo until he no longer knows of a way out, and how they both have grown to rely on each other in many more ways.

 

“I love you,” Seongwoo says in the tiniest of whispers into Minhyun’s ear. He pauses, and then adds, “And I’m so sorry.”

 

“I love you too,” Minhyun’s mouth barely moves when he says the words but he knows Seongwoo hears him, he always has.

 

They seperate, and the two families laugh, saying the boys are sad to see each other go after staying together for almost three days. Minhyun just plays along; because he knows why Seongwoo is apologizing to him. It’s a pain to pretend like somebody means nothing to you- when you already know that they are your entire world.

  
  
  
  
  


Daniel gets the freshman.

 

Seongwoo doesn’t even know how. He was almost convinced that his friend was going to go to jail for harassment charges that the said freshman had threatened to press several times before.

 

So when Daniel comes, hand in hand, with a cute freshman about half a head shorter than he is, Seongwoo is the least to say shocked- and a little jealous.

 

“This is Seongwoo, that’s Sungwoon, and the guy at the corner is Jaehwan,” Daniel introduces them proudly.

 

The freshman - Park Jihoon, just wrinkles his nose in mock distaste.

 

“I don’t like the smoke smell here,” is all he says.

 

“Niel ah,” Sungwoon pretends to rub his temples in frustration. “How could you ever think of bringing this goody-two-shoes to our hideout? He wouldn’t know how to fit in with us.”

 

“I agree,” Jaehwan chimes in. “He’s too  _ nice _ . You only like him because he’s pretty.”

 

Seongwoo just stays silent.

 

Daniel frowns, trying to choose between standing by his friends’ side or to take the side of the freshman who has barely agreed to date him less than forty eight hours ago.

 

“Come on guys,” Daniel tries to sound as chirpy as possible to ease the tension. “Seongwoo?”

 

Jihoon’s eyes flutter to Seongwoo’s direction, fixing his eyes onto Seongwoo immediately; as if mentally challenging him to a fight.

 

“I’ve seen you.”

 

Seongwoo just smiles. As much as he would like to support Daniel’s life decisions as his good friend, he decides that this boy is too much of a brat to stick around. Seongwoo doesn’t like high maintenance people, or anyone too bothersome, really.

 

Safe to say he doesn’t really like Daniel’s new boyfriend.

 

“I’m famous in this school, didn’t you already know what?”

 

Seongwoo addresses Daniel then, “Take this boy away, I don’t like him. He can’t join us if you want to be with him.”

 

Jihoon crosses his arms and scrowls, cutting Daniel off before he can reply Seongwoo, “No. I’ve seen you - in the art room during lesson time. You’re always there with this other tall boy. And you make out,  _ everytime _ .”

 

Jaehwan gasps audibly, and even Sungwoon turns to focus his attention onto Seongwoo. He feels his throat go dry.

 

“Did you kiss that boy just because he is pretty, too?”

 

Seongwoo clenches his jaw, holding himself back from saying something rash. Park Jihoon has a sharp tongue and a fast-working brain. Jihoon smiles when Seongwoo is dumbfounded, looking around for an explanation for his friends.

 

“Is he right?” Sungwoon prompts Seongwoo for an answer.

 

“Hey, Seongwoo-?”

 

A flirty, sweet voice penetrates through the ice cold atmosphere.

 

Seongwoo curses internally, he knows that voice, he knows it so damn well.

 

Jihoon crosses his arms, grinning in victory.

 

“Ah look, that boy is here.”

  
  
  
  
  


“ _ We’re waiting _ ,” Sungwoon says, tapping his foot impatiently on the ground.

 

The sound drives Seongwoo crazy as if the pressure isn’t already killing him.

 

“Yeah, we’re waiting,” Jaehwan echoes, looking more amused than annoyed at the situation, a complete opposite from a frustrated Sungwoon and fuming Daniel. Though Seongwoo is not sure which reaction he prefers.

 

Minhyun stares at Seongwoo, and Seongwoo is sure a million things are running through his brain now: how Seongwoo had managed to get them into this situation, what they’re going to say to Seongwoo’s friends, what they will think of Seongwoo and Minhyun.

 

Yet, Seongwoo is at a loss for words.

 

“If you’re not going to talk,” Sungwoon sighs, looking away from Seongwoo to the other boy, fixing his threatening glare onto Minhyun, who only looks slightly intimidated. “Then  _ you  _ should.”

 

“I don’t see why we have to explain ourselves when we did nothing wrong,” Minhyun shrugs.

 

Oh no.

 

Wrong move.

 

Sungwoon hates being belittled, much less hates for people to so blatantly ignore his words.

 

“Don’t talk like that to me,” Sungwoon grabs Minhyun’s collar.

 

Seongwoo stands up quickly, catching Sungwoon’s wrist.

 

His best friend’s eyes flash with distrust and anger at Seongwoo’s sudden action. Even Jaehwan gasps, as shocked as Seongwoo is with himself.

 

“Sungwoon- I didn’t mean to-”

 

“Forget it,” Sungwoon snaps, letting Minhyun go. He gives Seongwoo a sad smile, one that only Seongwoo knows the reason for, “I see where your heart lies.”

 

“Sungwoon,  _ please _ ,” Seongwoo is almost begging now. “I didn’t mean it that way.”

 

“You didn’t have to lie to me like that,” Sungwoon practically growls.

 

“ _ Hyung- _ ” Daniel steps in to try and control the situation but Seongwoo understands, it’s already too late.

 

“No,” Sungwoon holds out his hand to stop Daniel. “It’s fine, Niel.”

 

Seongwoo cannot even begin to think about how much he has fucked up this time. His heart breaks to see Sungwoon walking away from them without even a single glance back. He wants to call out to Sungwoon; explain everything.

 

“Hyung, please,” Daniel stops Seongwoo before he can take another step forward. “You cannot fuck this up more than you already have.”

 

It’s been ages since the puppy like Kang Daniel has been angry, it almost scares Seongwoo.

 

“I’ll go after him to  _ uh-  _ make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid,” Jaehwan says, then runs off.

 

Seongwoo watches him go helplessly.

 

“Ongie?” Minhyun finally speaks. “Is everything okay?”

 

“I think you need to figure yourself out before you come for us, hyung,” Daniel concludes angrily before leading Jihoon away, back into the school compounds.

 

How on earth could Seongwoo have known? - That this was only the tip of the iceberg, this was nothing compared to the price he would have to pay.

 

It is always confusing, but somehow exhilarating when someone offers him a hand.

 

“It’s going to be okay,” Minhyun smiles at him.

 

“You think so?” Seongwoo offers a weak one back.

 

Minhyun nods, pulling Seongwoo back up onto his feet for a tight hug.

 

“ _ I know so. _ ”

 

Seongwoo can hear the smirk in Minhyun’s voice even when he’s not looking.

  
  
  
  
  


_ “Ya, Ong Seongwoo. I said I liked you, but it doesn’t mean you should act all weird around me!” _

 

_ “I’m sorry- I’m just. I wasn’t expecting it.” _

 

_ “Why are you saying sorry to me?” _

 

One more can.

 

_ “I… I don’t like you back, hyung.” _

 

_ “Oh.” _

 

_ “It’s not you, it’s me, I swear! I’m not… gay. I even go to church on Sundays.” _

 

Another can. The burn is coming. Seongwoo feels drowsy.

 

_ “It’s okay, Seongwoo.” _

 

_ “Really?” _

 

_ “Really. We’re still friends, right?” _

 

On the third one, Seongwoo thinks about Minhyun. Not Sungwoon, not anyone else. He doesn’t know if he will ever think of anyone else.

 

_ “Forever, hyung.” _

  
  
  
  
  


When the welcome bell rings a minute after their official closing time, Minhyun turns back, to the customer, annoyed that people are incapable of reading the “closed” sign on the door.

 

“I’m sorry but we’re closed-”

 

The complaint dies on his lips.

 

“Mm,” comes the pained groan. “ _ Minhyunnie _ .”

 

“Of all the things you could choose to do,” Minhyun quickly runs over to support Seongwoo before he falls over. “You chose to get yourself drunk.”

 

When Seongwoo had said he had something to do in the afternoon, Minhyun would not have placed his money on him getting himself dead drunk and then somehow finding his way back to Minhyun’s workplace. Still, Seongwoo is here and very much alive, by some miracle.

 

“Didn’t… drink much,” Seongwoo says, but trips over a table leg while Minhyun tries to get him to sit down.

 

He fetches a cup of water.

 

“Really? Your friend walks out on you and the first thing you do is drink yourself silly? You should be proud of yourself, Seongwoo. Real mature,” Minhyun chides, crossing his arms.

 

Seongwoo’s face twists into an angry pout.

 

“Don’t- yell at me,” Seongwoo replies slowly. “Head… hurts. Everything’s spinning.”

 

“That’s what happen when you make bad decisions, genius,” Minhyun sighs. “Come on, I have to lock up. I’ll bring you home.”

 

“Bad decisions?” Seongwoo cocks his head in confusion, then nods, “Yeah… I think I make a lot of those.”

 

“What about me?” Minhyun asks.

 

He knows he shouldn't. Under the influence of alcohol, people are capable of saying anything, things that they maybe don’t mean. But there is also a famous saying that alcohol reveals the secrets of the hearts.

 

Seongwoo blinks slowly at Minhyun, as if trying to process his question.

 

Minhyun leans down to match Seongwoo’s eye level, “Am I one of those bad decisions?”

 

Seongwoo purses his lips, as if trying to keep the words from spilling out.

 

“Hurts,” Seongwoo finally mumbles.

 

“It hurts to be with me?” Minhyun probes.

 

Seongwoo nods.

 

“Okay,” Minhyun tries to keep his expression from changing. It’s so hard. 

 

“Come here,” Minhyun slings his arm around Seongwoo’s tiny waist and slowly walks him out of the chicken place. He doesn’t even try to think about anything. Everything is numb and Minhyun really wishes he were alone right now.

 

When Seongwoo mumbles something incoherent into Minhyun’s ear, he looks back at Seongwoo, whose eyes are half-closed.

 

“ _ -you _ ,” Seongwoo mutters, then tries again. “ _ -out _ you.”

 

It isn’t very long before Seongwoo falls asleep on Minhyun’s shoulder and he has to carry his deadweight of a half-boyfriend around. He finds an abandoned trolley and shoves him inside it, too mad to care about whether he’s comfortable or not.

  
  
  
  
  


_ It hurts more to be without you. _

 

Seongwoo tries his best to say it out loud, but everything is failing him. His eyes- that are already fully closed and his mouth, that can’t seem to form the words. His heart is screaming at him to sober up and tell Minhyun that he’s not done; he has something else to say.

 

Nothing happens. He doesn’t have the energy nor strength to pull himself up.

 

When he opens his eyes again, he’s in a trolley near his house.

 

“Come on, your parents are going to kill me if I wheel you up your front door,” he hears Minhyun mumble to himself and his heart blossoms at his boyfriend’s monologue. It’s cute, but soon enough, Seongwoo feels his eyes closing again.

 

He wishes he were in his bed, wrapped in warm blankets right now.

 

Or in Minhyun’s arms. Those two things are interchangeable.

  
  
  
  
  


“Minhyun?”

 

“Hello, Mr and Mrs Ong,” he tries his best to look as churchy and chirpy as possible. Even though he’s dead tired and aware that it does not look good on him when he shows up at their front door with their son drunk in his arms, the point is that Minhyun tries.

 

“What happened to Seongwoo- did he drink?”

 

They look so shocked, Minhyun feels sorry for them. They must not see Seongwoo like this a lot.

 

“I don’t know, he must have had a lot to drink to pass out like this but-”

 

“Were you with him?” his father asks.

 

Minhyun flinches. He does not like that tone. It’s unfriendly and accusing. These are not the same people who had welcomed Minhyun into their house weeks ago.

 

“I wasn’t with him-”

 

“So you weren’t keeping a lookout for him? How did he even become like this? He’s never drunk in his life,” his mother quickly takes Seongwoo away from Minhyun’s arms, as if Minhyun is holding something he’s not supposed to.

 

“I really don’t know,” Minhyun lies. He’s sure Seongwoo’s parents would not like to hear about what went on in school today, so he spares them from it.

 

“Seongwoo? Seongwoo, wake up,” his mother looks frazzled.

 

“He should be fine,” Minhyun tries to calm her down. “He’s just tired and drunk. All he needs is a good night’s rest.”

 

“Did you ever drink with him?  _ You’re both minors, _ ” Seongwoo’s mother hisses at Minhyun.

 

Suddenly, Minhyun feels very small and weak. Everything he says right now is going to be used against him and he really does not want to get angry at people who have treated him well so far.

 

“I never drank with him,” Minhyun says in a soft, but stern voice.

 

“There’s no reason he would do this to himself,” his father sighs heavily. “I noticed that he had bruises on his arms weeks back; and you had some too. Did you two get into a fight?”

 

Of course, the fight with the gangsters.

 

“I-”

 

“I didn’t have a good feeling at first, Minhyun. I tried to give you a chance,” his mother adds.

 

“I’m sorry,” Minhyun bows his head in shame.

 

He’s never going to win this fight.

 

“It’s late, Minhyun. Go home,” they say before slamming the door in his face.

 

He doesn’t even get to say goodnight.

 

Minhyun takes the longer route back home today, taking time to memorize the way stars twinkle in the night sky and trying to recall how beautiful Seongwoo had looked when Minhyun had lost his first time to him - and the equally ethereal constellation on his cheeks. He wonders if he should keep holding on; especially when Seongwoo has already admitted that it hurts him to be with Minhyun.

 

Maybe he should stop this altogether.

 

And save everyone from hurting further.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	6. PART SIX

_ ♫  When Night Falls - Eddy Kim  ♫ _

__

_ I’ll wait here forever _

_ I’ll wait for you until this ends _

_ I’ll walk with you someday _

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seongwoo wakes up with the worst headache and immediately runs to the toilet to puke.

 

“You deserve it.”

 

He looks back, and Sungwoon stands at his bathroom door, holding a cup of water in his hands. He passes it to Seongwoo when he’s done throwing up his entire stomach. Seongwoo feels like crap; both physically and mentally. He can’t even look at Sungwoon in his face.

 

“Can you stop staring at me like you killed my family?” Sungwoon lets out a sigh when the silence is too much for him to bear.

 

“I’m sorry I lied about Minhyun,” Seongwoo finally says, then adds, “Though, I really wasn’t dating him back when you asked me. I should have told you that I was gay, though.”

 

Sungwoon takes two sips of orange juice from his own cup.

 

“So it is me, then. You just don’t like  _ me _ , it’s not about not liking boys entirely.”

 

Seongwoo tries to look for a way to butter up his words, but realises that is exactly what had gotten him into trouble with Sungwoon this time.

 

“I didn’t know I liked boys until he came along.”

 

It sounds so fucking corny, but it is true. Even if Sungwoon sniggers, Seongwoo follows along.

 

“ _ Fine, Romeo _ . I was just mad that you weren’t brave enough to tell me yourself.  _ You  _ said it yourself, we’re friends forever. What does it make me - having to hear that you’re sucking face with someone else when you skip class? I’m supposed to know all that first.”

 

Seongwoo buries his face into his hands, “I know, I fucked up. I’m sorry.”

 

Sungwoon stares at him for a good three seconds, then cradles his knees to his chest and asks, “So, you are still doing the Church thing on Sundays?”

 

“I think so,” Seongwoo replies.

 

“What do you mean think? You either go or you don’t,” Sungwoon snaps.

 

“I mean, I don’t know if I am a hypocrite if I continue to attend church,” Seongwoo shrugs.

 

Sungwoon studies Seongwoo’s expression, then says, “ _ You two had sex? _ ”

 

Seongwoo has never moved so fast in his life as when trying to cover up Ha Sungwoon’s big mouth but he grabs the nearest pillow and holds it over the smaller boy’s mouth, not caring if he suffocates.

 

“Jesus!” he can still hear Sungwoon’s muffled screams through the pillow.

 

“Shut up,” Seongwoo hisses, “My parents are right outside!”

 

Sungwoon had that shit-eating grin on his face when Seongwoo finally removes the pillow.

 

“Oh my God, I mean- I knew you were half heathen and half angel but no way in hell or heaven would I expect you to actually, you know,  _ do it _ .”

 

Sungwoon is enjoying this way too much for someone who is supposed to be in love with Seongwoo.

 

“I will physically end you if this gets out, small man. Mark my words.”

 

Seongwoo does not think he sounds the least bit threatening to Sungwoon.

 

“Relax, I’m happy for you.”

 

“Really?” Seongwoo almost smiles, when he’s supposed to be mad.

 

Sungwoon shrugs, “You had your gay-awakening, you had sex with a boy before I did, and you’re still my friend. I guess I’m conflicted between respecting you and being happy for you.”

 

Well, that sounds better than where they were twenty-four hours ago.

 

“Thank you, hyung.”

 

“Don’t sweat,” Sungwoon nudges him hard. “Just give me some tips when I need them.”

 

Seongwoo covers his ears, trying to drown out what he’d just heard.

 

“Please, just end me now hyung.”

  
  
  
  
  


“Hey.”

 

Minhyun flinches when a pair of arms wrap around his wrist while he is trying to get some of the samosas on the buffet table. One thing’s for sure: this church is rich and has a never-ending flow of food every Sunday.

 

Seongwoo is being daring today.

 

Today, of all days.

 

“I didn’t see you in school or at work,” Seongwoo says from behind him, rubbing Minhyun’s back discreetly.

 

“I caught a flu,” Minhyun replies coldly.

 

“Oh?” Seongwoo either ignores his tone or completely misses it. “How? Did you take your medicine? Are you feeling better?”

 

He even places his palm over Minhyun’s forehead.

 

“Not too warm,” Seongwoo says, then stares down at Minhyun’s black shirt very obviously. “Though  _ you Sir _ , are smoking hot today.”

 

Minhyun isn’t in the mood.

 

“Minhyunnie?”

 

“Doesn’t it hurt, Seongwoo?” Minhyun finally snaps. He’s glad everyone has gone home because none of the teenagers would like to see Minhyun flaring up at their favourite church boy.

 

Seongwoo’s eyebrows furrow together in confusion, but he still manages to slip his hand into Minhyun’s and asks calmly, “What is this about?”

 

“Nothing,” Minhyun says. “Nothing you should care about, really.”

 

Seongwoo wraps his arms around Minhyun without saying anything more.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Minhyun stiffens, “You don’t even know what I’m angry about.”

 

“You’re right,” Seongwoo sighs. “I don’t. I have no clue what you’re so uptight about today but I’m going to apologize first. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you angry.”

 

The door opens the same time Seongwoo lets Minhyun go.

 

“Seongwoo,” the voice is cold, and stern.

 

Minhyun’s throat dries when he sees the same angry face at the door. He wonders if Seongwoo’s mother had seen them hugging because that would be terrible for the both of them. He takes two steps away from Seongwoo, putting a friendly distance between them.

 

“We’re going,  _ now _ ,” she talks to Seongwoo, not to Minhyun.

 

It’s like he’s not even there.

 

“I’m talking to Minhyun,” Seongwoo says in a very good-boy but also a don’t-mess-with-me-now tone. It surprises both Minhyun and Seongwoo’s mother.

 

“You can talk to him another time,” she snaps. “We have something important to address.”

 

Seongwoo’s shoulders seemingly deflate when she walks away, her high heels making knocking noises on the floor as she walks away. Minhyun still can’t look Seongwoo in the eye.

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Seongwoo says. 

 

“Maybe then we’ll figure things out.”

 

Minhyun doesn’t even say goodbye when Seongwoo runs out the door, trying to catch up with his mother. He just chucks the remaining food on his plate into the bin. Although he detests food wastage, he hates when Seongwoo and he are fighting for no reason at all.

  
  
  
  
  


“Be honest with us, Seongwoo.”

 

He knew this day would come: it was only a matter of  _ when _ .

 

“Where is the money?”

 

“I told you, I donated it to a foundation to help wildlife animals or something, I can’t remember the name,” Seongwoo lies through his teeth easily, as if he had anticipated all their questions years ago. Under the table though, he fiddles with his fingers uneasily.

 

“Then where is the proof?” his father demands, getting more angry by the minute, Seongwoo can practically see the smoke coming out of his ears.

 

“I don’t have proof because I didn’t care to take any - we do these fundraising things all the time, I guess I just forgot this time,” Seongwoo shrugs.

 

“$50,000 is a lot of money.”

 

Seongwoo tenses up.

 

It’s what Minhyun had said to him back then with his tear-filled eyes.

 

_ His Minhyun. _ The same Minhyun that wouldn’t speak to him this afternoon in church. Seongwoo closes his eyes in frustration - though he tries not to let it bother him, it does. He wants to know what’s wrong with Minhyun; and how he can fix it.

 

Yet he is here, in his living room, faced with his two parents who are suddenly asking him where the money from weeks ago has disappeared to.

 

“I know,” Seongwoo replies back smartly.

 

“Drinking, stealing and even,  _ fighting _ ,” his mother counts off, her voice getting tenser by each one. “Who are you, Seongwoo?”

 

The real question is: where has this Seongwoo been the entire time.

 

“Not to mention,  _ smoking _ ,” his father snaps. “That’s right. Your teacher called - said she saw you smoking at the back of your school with those good-for-nothing friends of yours. Guess who else she saw with you?”

 

“Minhyun.”

 

“Hwang Minhyun,” his father’s answers come out simultaneously with Seongwoo’s confession.

 

“So you were smoking with Minhyun.”

 

“I asked him to smoke with me,” Seongwoo clarifies. “He didn’t want to, but I forced him. It was just once.”

 

His father slams his fist on the table, and he almost jumps out of shock.

 

“Does this money thing have to do with  _ Minhyun  _ as well?”

 

Seongwoo doesn’t know why his father is saying Minhyun’s name like some kind of poison, but it angers him to no end.

 

“No,” Seongwoo says. “Not at all.”

 

He’s aware they don’t believe him, but they have no physical proof not to. Seongwoo had made sure to cover up his tracks nicely; so that only he would get implicated, and never Minhyun.

 

“You’re grounded. After school, you come right home. No one is to come over.”

 

Later, when Seongwoo surrenders his phone to his parents and lays in his bed and looks up at the stars on his ceiling, he tries to recall how Minhyun had touched him, had said the three words to Minhyun, and had made Seongwoo feel like he was always enough.

 

He wonders - if they will  _ ever  _ be enough.

  
  
  
  
  


“You do know that Seongwoo is grounded, right?”

 

“Seongwoo is what?”

 

The glare that Sungwoon gives him is enough to send chills down Minhyun’s spine. He’d refused to go out during lunch, wanting to avoid Seongwoo at all costs for as long as he’s trying to be angry at Seongwoo.

 

And all because of what?

 

Seongwoo spewing out drunken nonsense and his parents being an absolute dick to Minhyun that probably has nothing to do with Seongwoo at all?

 

Minhyun would much rather prefer to stay away before he says something that he cannot take back.

 

But Seongwoo being grounded? This is news to him. The last time he’d seen Seongwoo was when he’d been dragged away by a very angry looking mother. Since then, they haven’t contacted each other at all.

 

“So much for being his boyfriend,” Sungwoon lets the words slip before he can stop.

 

Minhyun hates that his face shows everything.

 

“What?” Sungwoon crosses his arms. “You’re not his boyfriend?”

 

“ _ We _ didn’t feel the need to put a label on our relationship,” Minhyun says through his clenched teeth. 

 

Sungwoon puts his hands down on Minhyun’s table and leans into his face, obviously having no thought for privacy, “Well, let’s just say I don’t know  _ shit  _ about labels and that your boyfriend is obviously feeling very down for reasons he’s not inclined to say and it’s kind of affecting our group dynamic, so I would appreciate if you at least checked up on him,  _ thank you _ .”

 

The other boy huffs unsatisfactorily at Minhyun, then takes his leave.

  
  
  
  
  


Minhyun rings on his doorbell.

 

On hindsight, not the greatest plan he has come up with but he can’t think of any other way that he will get to see Seongwoo. Seongwoo is not rapunzel and Minhyun is not a prince who is going to climb up a tower to save Seongwoo from his evil parents.

 

The door opens after a few seconds, and a familiar pair of eyes peek out.

 

“Minhyun?”

 

“I heard you were grounded,” Minhyun says as a form of hello.

 

“Sungwoon?” Seongwoo frowns.

 

“A little bird told me,” Minhyun refuses to give up information so easily.

 

“So  _ Sungwoon _ ,” Seongwoo concludes.

 

“Yes,” Minhyun sighs exasperatedly. Why does Seongwoo always have to get his way with things? “Your tiny friend marched over to my classroom about how labels are shit and that I should come over and check on you, my  _ boyfriend  _ that I have yet to put a label on.”

 

Seongwoo grins even though he knows Minhyun is being a sarcastic little shit.

 

“I appreciate the gesture, boyfriend. But if you really want to see me, you’ll have to climb through my bedroom window. My parents went batshit crazy over the weekend and installed cameras near the front door so…”

 

Minhyun wishes he could eat his words.

 

Seongwoo really is Rapunzel and Minhyun is the very unathletic prince who is going to have to climb up to his bedroom for the first time in his life to save Seongwoo from his over-controlling parents.

 

The  **mile** he is willing to go to for his boyfriend-non-boyfriend.

  
  
  
  
  


“Ow, you couldn’t have raised your window a bit higher?” Minhyun complains when he finally gets into Seongwoo’s bedroom - after bumping his head into Seongwoo’s window frame.

 

“Is my  _ boyfriend  _ still grumpy? It’s been four days.”

 

Well,  _ yes _ . Minhyun is still mad at God-knows-what.

 

But he still cannot resist smiling at Ong Seongwoo; draped in a comfortable white shirt and track pants in the comfort of his own room.

 

“So, you’re here to check if I’m alive? I’m still me, you can go now,” Seongwoo shrugs, trying to play coy.

 

“What are you even saying?” Minhyun chides.

 

Seongwoo raises his eyebrows in mock surprise, and even goes the extra mile by putting a hand on his chest, “Was I mistaken? I thought that we were fighting.”

 

“We are not fighting,” Minhyun replies plainly, cornering Seongwoo against his study table where Minhyun can see that he has been studying his math diligently like the closet good student he is.

 

Truth is, he has missed Seongwoo.

 

“Using  _ this  _ to try and get me to forgive you? Smart.”

 

He misses Seongwoo; even when the boy is in front of him. He misses his sharp tongue, his well-timed comments and the way he wears his smile like he is trying to blind the entire world.

 

“Naughty,” Seongwoo chides when Minhyun deliberately misses his lips and kisses him on the underside of his jaw instead, where he remembers is a sensitive spot.

 

“But I actually want to talk,  _ for once _ ,” Seongwoo says, pushing Minhyun away, “Can we?”

 

Minhyun nods, intertwining their fingers.

  
  
  
  
  


“It’s not fair for you to be angry at me and then not tell me why, alright? I understand that we can’t tell each other everything, but at the very least, tell me what I did wrong, so I can be better for you, okay?”

 

Seongwoo is so gorgeous, really.

 

Minhyun doesn’t think he will ever see anything more beautiful than the boy in front of him. How he could have been so lucky to land himself the only Ong Seongwoo in the world - he doesn’t really know.

 

“I understand,” Minhyun nods obediently.

 

“Are you going to tell me why you were mad?”

 

Although Minhyun is angry, he is not very much in favour in sowing discord between Seongwoo and his parents, seeing they have already argued about something Seongwoo refuses to tell him about. He decides that he can let the drunk incident go, and focus on many other things.

 

Like the boy in front of him.

 

He shakes his head, “It’s nothing, really.”

 

“Fine,” Seongwoo replies lightly. 

 

“We all have our secrets,” Minhyun promises Seongwoo, linking their pinky fingers together, “But I promise you that I’m just protecting you.”

  
  
  
  
  


“Speaking of secrets!”

 

Seongwoo has been waiting to do this for the longest time. He’d actually wanted to reveal it to Minhyun on Sunday, but the thing happened, and though belated, he’s sure it won’t affect the results.

 

“I’m planning a Secret Santa.”

 

Minhyun echoes, “A secret santa?”

 

Seongwoo nods, “Between you, me, Sungwoon, Jaehwan and now I have to include Jihoon to because I owe Daniel a huge one for yelling at his new boyfriend. You’re the last one to pick, so you don’t have much of a choice.”

 

Seongwoo entrusts the last piece of paper into Minhyun’s hands.

 

“You have about two months, it shouldn’t be that hard,” Seongwoo muses. “Daniel wants some cat toys, Jaehwan wants some football gear, Sungwoon probably needs some new shoes, and I don’t really care what you get Jihoon - that boy is a devil.”

 

He watches as Minhyun opens his paper in secret.

 

Reading Hwang Minhyun’s face is the hardest thing on earth to do, next to math.

 

“What about you? What do you like?”

 

“You can’t fool me,” Seongwoo rolls his eyes. “I already know who got me.”

 

“You think so?” Minhyun questions.

 

“ _ I know so, _ ” Seongwoo says before he is tackled onto the bed, Secret Santa already forgotten.

  
  
  
  
  


“Hypothetically, if I were your Secret Santa, what would you want from me?”

 

They’re lying in Seongwoo’s bed again, watching the glow-in-the-dark stars on their sky.

 

He’s glad they’ve made up. He’s glad everything is back to normal.

 

“You wouldn’t be able to get it for me anyway,” Seongwoo shrugs, then pinches Minhyun’s side, “Stop trying to fool me into thinking that you’re my Secret Santa. Jaehwan has been acting jittery around me these days - it’s definitely him. I can see through him like a piece of glass.”

 

“I said  _ hypothetically _ ,” Minhyun says. “You spoil all the fun.”

 

Seongwoo turns on his side, so he’s facing Minhyun.

 

“I want to see the Northern Lights.”

 

When Minhyun remains silent for a long time, Seongwoo waves a hand in front of his face.

 

“I was just babbling,” Seongwoo assures him. “I know it’s going to be years before I see them  _ but-  _ it’s always been a dream of mine.”

 

“I’ll bring you there.”

 

It’s a reckless promise, but looking back, their relationship has already been built on blind trust and a whole lot of risk-taking. It wouldn’t hurt to make another promise to Seongwoo like all the other ones he’s already made - all it does is anchor his love for Seongwoo deeper into his heart.

 

“Don’t say stuff like that,” Seongwoo protests weakly.

 

“I said it because I meant it,” Minhyun says. “I’ll bring you to see the Northern Lights. When we see the aurora, it’ll be the prettiest aurora in all of recorded history.”

 

_ And then I’d ask you to marry me. _

 

Maybe they’re too young and stupid to be talking about marriage and making promises.

 

But if they don’t make the promises now - then when?

 

Minhyun cannot think of a better time he would pledge his future and entire heart to one boy.

  
  
  
  
  


Minhyun likes Seongwoo’s kisses.

 

More specifically, the different kind of kisses he gets.

 

He likes the casual, fleeting nose, forehead or cheek kisses that Seongwoo gives him when they don’t have much time together. These usually come during lunch time in school when they’re in the janitor’s closet or behind the curtains in Church. 

 

He also likes the playful smooches Seongwoo plants on his lips in between their conversations. These usually occur when they’re talking about anything under the moon - and suddenly one of them has the urge to kiss the other, which is usually followed by soft giggles and blushed, pink cheeks.

 

Minhyun loves the deep, passionate kisses that they share. Sometimes their lips trail further from the other’s face, choosing instead to say “i love you” to the other by planting kisses onto their skin and enjoying the way the angry red mark soon turns into a deep, purple one.

 

Most of all, he thinks he likes the kisses that have hidden meanings to them.

 

Like when Seongwoo cups Minhyun’s face when he kisses him - he’s actually saying, “I adore your cute, button face.”

 

Or when Seongwoo wraps his arms around Minhyun’s waist, he’s really saying, “You’re mine, only mine.”

 

Especially when Seongwoo climbs into Minhyun’s lap and kisses him breathless, he’s trying to tell Minhyun, “I need you.”

 

So many types of kisses, yet Minhyun thinks he will never have enough.

 

_ Greed  _ \- one of the seven sins.

 

Minhyun isn’t even afraid he has committed many, many more.

 

Perhaps even  _ all of them _ .

 

Maybe that is why, in that second, the God from above looks down at them and decides that they don’t deserve a happy ending.

  
  
  
  
  


Seongwoo’s hands are ripped away from Minhyun’s neck in an instant.

 

His entire world,  _ gone _ .

 

Just like that.

 

“ _ Dad- _ ”

 

“ _ Seongwoo _ ,” Minhyun’s eyes well up with tears. He looks at Seongwoo like he’s known; for a long time now - that they were living on borrowed time. Minhyun says Seongwoo’s name like it’s the last time he’s ever going to say it and it breaks his heart.

 

“Get out,” the words are cold but poisonous. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Minhyun says - not to anyone else, only to Seongwoo.

 

“You are  _ disgusting _ ,” a higher-pitched voice adds, but laced with the same menace. “Leave my son alone.”

 

Minhyun is not disgusting. He is anything but  _ that _ . He is beautiful, kind, caring and everything Seongwoo never knew he needed. His hands try to find the warmth and comfort of Minhyun’s but Minhyun is dragged away by Seongwoo’s father by his collar, and Seongwoo can only watch.

 

“I love him, mom,” Seongwoo begs his mother, who only looks upon the situation without an once of sympathy for her son.

 

“You do not,” she snaps. “And you will not say another word.”

 

But Seongwoo does. He loves Minhyun.

 

Love is a hard concept to grasp. Is it the feeling you get when you feel butterflies in your stomach or the dry feeling in your throat when you see the person you like approaching you?

 

For Seongwoo, it is all of those things.

 

Most of all, love is thinking about dreaming about seeing the Northern Lights alone your entire life - only to finally see the silhouette of another person standing next to him when he envisions the day it happens.

 

“I love him,” Seongwoo says, as tears roll down his cheeks uncontrollably while his father yells expletives downstairs. Seongwoo shuts it all out.

 

He hopes Minhyun hears his heart.

  
  
  
  
  


Minhyun does.

 

He knows Seongwoo loves him to the end of the world; no doubt.

 

Unfortunately, this is not a world where he gets to return the love he has been paid. 

  
  
  
  
  


“ _ Hyun _ ? What’s wrong? Are you crying?”

 

Minhyun collapses into his mother’s arms - his safe place.

 

“I don’t understand,” he cries loudly; almost howling in grief as if he is mourning the loss of a loved one. His fingers tighten around his mother as he sobs his heart out. It hurts too much to keep the emotions inside.

 

“What don’t you understand, baby?” she’s trying to sound calm, but Minhyun can tell she is panicking.

 

Her calm, quiet and obedient son is crying like all he knows is how to cry.

 

“Is loving someone so wrong?”

  
  
  
  
  


“I don’t think you understand, Mrs Hwang.”

 

“I think I understand perfectly.”

 

Minhyun has never loved his mother more than this moment. She is the strongest woman he has ever met in his entire life. Even with two very angry and powerful individuals seated in front of her, she never wavers; not even once. Her knuckles are turning white from her palms clenching too hard under the table. Minhyun can only hang his head in shame.

 

“ _ Your son _ ,” he pauses to take a breath like saying Minhyun’s name disgusts him. “Was kissing my son when I walked into his bedroom.”

 

“That is an act that clearly defies our religion and faith, don’t you think, Mrs Hwang?”

 

“I thought you accepted people for who they were,” Minhyun’s mother replies back calmly.

 

“Not if he is a…  _ homosexual _ ,” Mrs Ong practically hisses.

 

“Not to mention that he has brought my son over to the Devil’s side. I don’t even know what my own son is thinking anymore. This has never happened until your son came into the picture.”

 

Minhyun’s mother takes a deep breath.

 

“What do you want us to do?”

 

“Move away. To somewhere we will never hear of you again.”

  
  
  
  
  


Minhyun is living.

 

But, not really.

 

Though he is standing in his kitchen with a glass of water in his hand, he doesn’t feel like there is blood running through his veins. Stripped of every last bit of energy, all Minhyun wants is for a hole to eat him up right now.

 

“Mom, I’m sorry,” he finally says.

 

“Hyun, you never have to apologize for being who you are.”

 

She is so strong, really. From being a single mother to the only person who is going to help Minhyun get through the rest of his days, Minhyun doesn’t doubt that she will continue to be there for many more.

 

“This is our home, Hyun ah. We are not moving out, no matter what the others say.”

 

She had thrown the envelope containing a lot of money; enough for them to pay off their debt and to live a fairly comfortable life if they had accepted their offer. It was too much of a disgrace, and she had ordered for them to get out of her house immediately.

 

“What’s going to happen to Seongwoo now?”

 

Saying his name hurts.

 

It feels like Minhyun will never see him again.

 

Minhyun’s mother pets his hair gently to soothe his rising sobs.

 

“He’s going to be just fine. I know it.”

  
  
  
  
  


“I am not going through a phase!” 

 

“ _ Seongwoo- _ you’re not okay. That boy; he made you like this.”

 

“Like what?” Seongwoo wants to yell back.

 

“I like boys,” Seongwoo makes sure to say each word loud and clear, just for his parents to hear again, and again.

 

“More specifically, I love Hwang Minhyun.”

 

It’s not working. They’re never going to listen; or take him seriously. They’ve already ruled him out as a sick case, someone who is broken and someone who will never be the same in their eyes.

 

“Pack your things, Seongwoo.”

 

“Didn’t you hear me? _ I said I love him _ .”

 

“You will get over this, Seongwoo,” his mother pleads. “Please. Just go to your room and pack your things. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

 

When he is alone in his room, he misses Minhyun.

 

Everything that he is going to do from now on, he will think of Minhyun. And he’s going to miss him every step of the way.

 

Too numb to feel anything more, Seongwoo packs.

  
  
  
  
  


Sungwoon runs to Minhyun’s class.

 

By the look on his face, it’s not good.

 

“Seongwoo’s here,” Sungwoon says, panting heavily.

 

Minhyun drops the pen in his hand.

 

“Where?”

 

“Quick,” Sungwoon grabs his wrist. “We don’t have much time.”

  
  
  
  
  


_ “Oh, baby _ .”

 

Minhyun lets himself drown in Seongwoo’s touch.

 

One last time.

 

He memorizes the way Seongwoo’s lips move on his and suddenly, he’s crying again. He wishes he had more time to cherish all their previous times.

 

“Please don’t cry,” Seongwoo tries to smile, but tears are rolling down his cheeks too.

 

“Fuck, I’m so sorry.”

 

It’s the only thing Minhyun can say to Seongwoo.

 

“Thank you, Hwang Minhyun,” Seongwoo says in a voice only both of them can hear. “For making me realise who I am, and what I’m capable of. Thank you for reminding me that I am capable of love.”

 

“I love you,” Minhyun says, his eyes never wavering. “Remember that.”

 

Seongwoo’s smile is crooked.

 

“How can I ever  _ forget _ ?”

  
  
  
  
  


The principal comes and hurries Seongwoo to pack his locker, not even caring about a silently crying boy and four other gloomy ones who stand behind him. He gives his friends a reassuring smile.

 

They’re going to be okay without him - he’s just going to be away for a little while.

 

Jihoon will take care of Daniel. Sungwoon will take care of Minhyun for him - he’s all about that  _ tough love _ kind of shit. Jaehwan… is just Jaehwan.

 

No goodbyes are said between them.

 

Seongwoo believes that the memories are enough.

 

_ For now. _

  
  
  
  
  


Minhyun goes to church.

 

It is the thing he fears most right now - yet he feels like it is the only thing that will make everything feel normal again. It makes him feel like Seongwoo is right beside him. Yet when he enters the room, everyone is there - Daehwi, Joy and all of the faces he’s become familiar with.

 

No Seongwoo.

 

“Hi, Minhyun hyung!” Daehwi greets him.

 

Minhyun smiles at Daehwi like how Seongwoo would.

 

“Hey, Daehwi. How’s school?”

 

Daehwi leans in really close to Minhyun.

 

“Can you keep a secret for me, hyung?”

 

Minhyun nods slowly.

 

“There’s a really handsome boy who just transferred over to my class. He sits beside me and his name is Bae Jinyoung.”

 

There are sparkles in Daehwi’s eyes when he relays the secret message to Minhyun. For a moment, it feels like deja vu. For a moment, it seems like Seongwoo will pop out from behind the door and yell,  _ “Surprise!”.  _

 

It never happens.

 

Daehwi’s smile turns into a pout.

 

“Hyung?” he prompts a spacing out Minhyun. “Is it…  _ wrong _ ? I just think that he is really handsome and I like the sweets he brings for me in class.”

 

Minhyun wraps Daehwi in his arms, just like he knows Seongwoo would.

 

“No, you’re perfect. I’ll keep your secret well for you.”

 

Daehwi beams.

 

“Thank you for letting me know, Daehwi.”

  
  
  
  
  


_ 2 months after _

Winter comes.

 

It is the coldest one in all of recorded history.

 

Yet, the grey walls never change and his alarm still rings at 7am and his roommate is somehow already awake and changing into the standard white uniform they all have.

 

“Morning, sunshine,” Jisung hums along to a song Seongwoo doesn’t recognise.

 

“Ugh,” Seongwoo offers in response.

 

All he needs is ten more minutes under the warm blankets, he swears. Every morning he wakes up and he is disappointed to know that he is still in this stupid private school and not in his own bed, next to Minhyun.

 

Minhyun - he hasn’t heard his voice nor seen his face in two months; his parents have made sure of that very well.

 

Everyday, he misses Minhyun a little bit more.

 

It always seems like their first meeting was nothing more than a fleeting dream. But then, Seongwoo thinks of the times where Minhyun had marked him, right below his collarbone like he loves to, and holds onto the hope that after all this is over, they will find each other again.

 

“Seongwoo, please. Let’s try to be early for morning service for once.”

 

“Alright, hyung,” Seongwoo throws off the covers and shivers instantly.

 

“Ah,” Jisung says suddenly. “You’ve got a gift in the mail.”

 

He points to the brown package sitting near their front door.

 

“I didn’t order anything, though?” Seongwoo slips into the uniform quickly, already accustomed to take the shortest time possible to get ready.

 

“It was an anonymous sender,” Jisung shrugs.

 

Seongwoo treads over quickly, not wanting to waste anymore time. He’s been late to service more than he likes to admit.

 

The box is fairly light and he rips it open carefully.

 

“And it’s really cold today so make sure to bring out a-”

 

_ It’s him. _

 

“ _ -scarf _ ,” Jisung completes his sentence.

 

He can already tell it’s handsewn. There are some obvious flaws that Seongwoo isn’t going to point out because he knows  _ the sender _ will pout and sulk. It is soft and warm in his hands. 

 

“I was going to offer you one of my extra ones, but I don’t think you’ll be keen to change?” Jisung asks, and Seongwoo knows that he is smiling.

 

He wraps the scarf around his neck and discovers that even for a moment, he has never stopped loving Hwang Minhyun.

 

It is comforting to know that Minhyun feels the same.

 

“I’m good with this one, hyung,” Seongwoo says.

 

Inside, there is a piece of paper, crumpled from the mailing process, but Seongwoo can still read it; still  _ hear it _ in his voice.

 

_ Merry Christmas! _

 

  * __From your Secret Santa who can’t wait to take you to see the Northern Lights__



 

 

“He wasn’t lying,” Seongwoo mumbles to himself.

 

Hwang Minhyun  _ was  _ his Secret Santa.

 

If he had kept his promise now - Seongwoo has no doubt that he will fulfill all of the others they have made before..

 

“Merry Christmas, Seongwoo.”

 

Jisung is smiling at him, and Seongwoo feels at home already.

 

“Merry Christmas, hyung.”

  
  
  
  
  


“Merry Christmas, Hwang Minhyun.”

 

Sungwoon’s greetings are gruff and cold like the weather but Minhyun thinks he sees a small smile creep onto the other’s lips before he replaces it with a natural pout. He places a paper bag on Minhyun’s table.

 

“ _ You’re _ my Secret Santa?”

 

“Unfortunately,” Sungwoon quips.

 

It’s safe to say that Sungwoon has more than accepted Minhyun into their little group of friends. He’s even honouring the Secret Santa agreement. 

 

“Look,” Sungwoon shifts uncomfortably. “I know you miss him. I miss him too, we all miss him. I’m sorry you didn’t get to spend Christmas together.”

 

Minhyun smiles warmly at the other boy.

 

“It’s fine. He’s doing well.”

 

Sungwoon glances up, curiosity piqued. 

 

“You think so?” Sungwoon twiddles his thumbs.

 

_ “I know so.” _

  
  
  
  
  


Sungwoon gets Minhyun cute animal socks to keep him warm for the winter; though he brushes it off and says that it was a last minute present. Jihoon got Sungwoon some dog clothes for his puppy, and Daniel didn’t have time to get a present for his boyfriend - and got a huge scolding from Jihoon. 

 

Jaehwan had gotten Daniel the newest xbox game but told him to give it to Jihoon instead so that they could all have dinner at Minhyun’s peacefully.

 

Minhyun had gotten Jaehwan new soccer boots on behalf of Seongwoo who couldn’t be there.

 

Minhyun’s mother cooks up a feast for the five hungry boys on Christmas day.

 

And when they all leave and Minhyun lays in his bed and stares at his very own glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling, he suddenly sits up and grabs his diary and a pen.

 

He notes down a very important date that he has to remember.

 

_ 25 August, 2019 _

_ Take Seongwoo to see the Northern Lights _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

  * **_**_end._**_**



 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it feels absolutely surreal to finish this fic and actually have people finally reading it.
> 
> when the idea first came to me, i knew it would be a long fic. i didn't expect it to evolve into my longest one-shot so far - i think i just wanted to write the best possible story i could for this pair. 
> 
> if you've made it to the end - thank you! you are one of the reasons i braved through losing inspiration SO MANY TIMES and coming to love and hate this fic at the same time.
> 
> if you enjoyed it, please leave a comment so that i can come back in the future and gain strength <3
> 
> once again, thank you for reading <3


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